


Sanditon Skies

by AggieWin71



Category: Sanditon (TV 2019)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-11-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:54:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 27,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27203449
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AggieWin71/pseuds/AggieWin71
Summary: This is my story for Season 2. It is very Sidlotte focussed, HEA guaranteed!
Relationships: Charlotte Heywood/Sidney Parker
Comments: 39
Kudos: 269





	1. Chapter 1

Mid November

Charlotte Heywood gazed around the ornate reception room, surveying the assembled throng. After three weeks in London she had become accustomed to her opulent surroundings, and was already acquainted with quite a few guests in attendance this afternoon. At last she was finally beginning to feel that she was no longer the novelty du jour.

Lady Susan’s invitation to Charlotte to spend at least a month at her London residence had arrived in Willingden at the beginning of October. It was not wholly unexpected, Lady Susan had intimated as much in recent letters, so Charlotte had given the prospect much thought in the preceding weeks. She had realized since returning from Sanditon after the Babbington’s wedding that her attempts to occupy herself with the day to day requirements of life on her father’s modest estate had not fooled the members of her family who knew her best.

Her parents, eldest sister Alison and eldest brother James were all aware that Charlotte’s stories of happy adventures over the summer months left out key details. Details that would explain her sleeplessness, the dresses that now hung slightly on her slimmer frame, her desire for long solitary walks. It was clear to them that Charlotte had been hurt somehow, she carried a deep sadness that, despite her best efforts, could not be fully hidden.

They had all tried in subtle ways to broach the subject with her but had been politely and lovingly rebuffed. Alison was aware of the existence of Sidney Parker, Charlotte’s letters from Sanditon had disclosed enough information for her to be fairly sure that it was a blighted love affair that was affecting her sister so. Alison also knew that letters for Charlotte from Mrs Mary Parker had remained unanswered, in some cases even unread, as if any reminders of her time on the coast were untenable.

When Lady Susan’s invitation arrived, Charlotte’s proposal to her family that she accept and spend some time in London was welcomed, albeit reluctantly. They were all hoping that the distraction would do her good, would help her pass the time until the situation ailing her began to fade into the past. It was only Alison who considered the possibility that venturing to London might ensure Charlotte crossed paths with the very cause of her anguish.

As Lady Susan’s carriage departed Willingden, Charlotte smiled and waved through the small back window until her family were out of sight. Turning around, she flopped back against the seat, closed her eyes and audibly exhaled. Even though she knew her family was not fooled, it had been exhausting to at least try and act reasonably normal at home. Charlotte was fairly confident that Lady Susan, whilst providing interesting diversions, would also allow her the peace she so desperately needed to recover from the emotional heartache she still endured every minute of the day.

Lady Susan had taken one look at Charlotte upon her arrival and summed up the situation instantly. She discreetly organized her dressmaker to attend Charlotte for a new collection of better fitting dresses under the auspices of having a suitable wardrobe for an Autumn season. She designed their social calendar to enable a gradual introduction, recognizing that Charlotte was not at her sparkling best and might flounder if thrown headlong into the normal social whirl. She steered her well clear of any possibility of running into the Parkers just yet. Sidney and his new wife had spent some time in the country following their wedding but Lady Susan’s contacts had informed her of their return this past week.

This afternoon’s gathering at Lady Susan’s house was small by London society standards. Lady Susan was conversing with three handsome young men in military dress, their red coats and youthful laughter inevitably brightening the room. They turned as Charlotte approached, smiling. “Good afternoon gentlemen, it’s a pleasure to see you again.” The tallest soldier bowed over her hand, “Good afternoon Miss Heywood, the pleasure is indeed mine.” His wide blue eyes regarded her with much admiration, his companions exchanging a knowing glance over the top of his head.

Charlotte had already met Matthew Forster several times in the last weeks, she knew he was the youngest son of an Earl, that his family seat was near Windsor, that his father had died leaving his brother, George, to inherit the title. She knew that he was on furlough until mid December when he would rejoin his regiment in the North. She also knew that he regarded her very fondly and that Lady Susan was encouraging their friendship in her well meaning way. Matthew was three years younger than Charlotte, a most pleasant, funny and thoughtful young man. His build was slim, blond hair, blue eyes. His interests tended to country pursuits, his manner was open and friendly. He did not smoke, fight or gamble. In short, he was the polar opposite of Sidney Parker, which was the only reason Charlotte could allow herself to pay him any special attention at all.

The following morning was bright and sunny, a welcome respite from recent rains. Lady Susan, sensing that Charlotte was pining a little for some time outdoors in the fresh air, proposed an open carriage ride through Hyde Park; not the fashionable hour, or time of year, for such activities but very appealing to Charlotte.

Charlotte took a deep breath and relaxed back into her seat, “Thank you, Susan, this park is so beautiful, driving through these trees, listening to the birdsong it is hard to believe we’re in the middle of a city as large as London.”

“I agree Charlotte, it is a travesty the people who take their leisure here are generally more concerned with how many laps they must do to be seen by as many admirers as possible than with the natural beauty of their surroundings.” Susan pulled up their lap robe a little higher, and continued, “However, there is one person we both know who would undoubtedly appreciate the landscape as you do … I have seldom met a man of society with more desire to exit it than Matthew Forster,” she smiled.

“Yes, Mr Forster is certainly keen to return to Windsor whenever possible, he will make an excellent squire one day,” Charlotte agreed in a noncommittal tone, whilst watching a squirrel skipping across the grass alongside her. Susan was wondering whether to press Charlotte a little further as to how her interaction with Matthew had progressed yesterday when she spotted two gentlemen walking towards them along the road. They stepped off onto the grass on Susan’s side of the carriage to make way, one man partly obscured by the other. As they approached, Susan recognized the first to be Lord Babbington.

“Lady Worcester, a very good day to you,” he swept off his hat and bowed. Charlotte heard the familiar voice and as she looked in his direction he raised his eyebrows, “Miss Heywood! A great pleasure to see you, what chance meeting you here,” he smiled warmly. Only then did he step aside to reveal his companion.

Sidney Parker looked up, his dark eyes meeting Charlotte’s for what seemed to her to be an eternity before he directed a brief nod at both ladies, turned and walked away across the grass.

The world ceased to exist, Charlotte’s hands gripped the seat as she watched his retreating figure stride away, head down. Gradually her brain registered that Lord Babbington was speaking to her, “I’m s-so sorry,” she stammered, “I beg your pardon?”

“Miss Heywood, please accept my apologies on behalf of my friend, he is…not well this morning, hence our walk to take some air…” Lord Babbington glanced around to check Sidney’s whereabouts. Summoning all her reserves, Charlotte managed a small smile, “Oh, Lord Babbington, that’s quite alright, let us not detain you…”

“It really is a pleasure to see you,” he interrupted. “I know Lady Babbington would be very pleased to have you visit, we are expecting a child you see, she has been confined more to the house than she would like, your company would be a very welcome distraction?”

“Oh congratulations!” exclaimed Charlotte warmly. “Yes I would like very much to see her and deliver my good wishes in person.”

“Splendid!… She will be in touch. I must go for now, good morning Lady Worcester, Miss Heywood,” Lord Babbington bowed his head in farewell, then walked briskly off in Sidney’s direction.

“My goodness,” thought Lady Susan as she turned to assess Charlotte’s demeanour, “I did not bargain on that!”

Charlotte was staring straight ahead, but all she could see was Sidney’s haggard face, he was unshaven, his cheek was bruised, his lip split. His cravat bore the remains of what looked like blood, he carried no cane.

Her heart was thumping, her chest felt like it would break open. What on earth was he doing to himself? 

Lady Susan ordered the carriage home. “I can see your distress my dear,” she said, her expression filled with compassion. “Undoubtedly he had no wish to converse with you whilst in that state, do not for a second think that he would have missed the opportunity otherwise.”

Charlotte did not reply, merely tried her best to swallow the threatening tears. “I had heard rumours of dissension in the Parker marriage, even at this early stage,” Lady Susan continued. “I think those rumours have just been confirmed.” She patted Charlotte’s hand, left her in silence to process the encounter for the remainder of the ride home.


	2. Chapter 2

An invitation from Lady Babbington did indeed arrive after a few days, requesting Charlotte’s presence for a private tea at 11.00 the next morning. Charlotte was very pleased to accept. Although Esther’s pointed observations and sharp wit had taken Charlotte aback on their first meeting in Sanditon, she now knew that Esther’s life until she married had been difficult in many respects, causing her to build strong defences when it came to letting others get to know her true self. They now had a secure, highly valued friendship.

At the appointed hour, Charlotte was shown into the Babbington’s lavish residence, morning tea was to be served in the blue drawing room. Esther in the early stages of pregnancy, looked wan and tired, but was very happy to sit back and listen of Charlotte’s exploits in London. Esther’s social circle mingled with that of Lady Susan, so she was aware of Matthew Forster’s infatuation with a newcomer and was excited to find out it was Charlotte.

After chatting for half an hour, a maid appeared at Esther’s side to request her presence upstairs, Lord Babbington apparently required a brief word. Charlotte remained in the blue room to await her return, amusing herself by watching the last leaves spiral down from an oak in the garden outside.

A sharp knock at the front door echoed through the entrance hall. Charlotte heard the butler open the door, heard a man’s voice announce his purpose, and heard the servant requesting that he wait for Lord Babbington who was at present detained upstairs. In a state of confusion, Charlotte was already on her feet as Sidney Parker walked through the blue room door.

Sidney walked into the centre of the room, holding Charlotte’s gaze as he bowed his head, “Good morning, Miss Heywood.”

“Good morning Mr Parker, this is indeed a surprise,” replied Charlotte, just managing to keep her voice at a normal pitch.

“Yes..” Sidney began to respond, paused and then, “… actually no, it is not, at least not for me..” Sidney looked at her wide eyes and puzzled expression. “I’m sorry to intrude, I confess I enlisted Babbington’s help, when he told me you had agreed to call on Esther I created this ruse so I had a chance to speak to you alone.”

“Oh”, Charlotte murmured, totally overwhelmed by the fact that Sidney, the man her heart had been mourning for the last three months was standing in front of her, she could actually hear his voice, look at his face. He was so near that she could see that his scars had begun to heal although his cheek still had a blue tinge.

“Yes, I..” Sidney shook his head and looked up from under his lashes, a sudden sheepish expression on his face. “I have come to ask for your forgiveness, my behaviour at the park was unutterably rude.”

“Ah,” said Charlotte, nodding slightly. “Terribly rude,”Sidney continued. “In truth I had been out most of the night, walking home was an attempt to sober me up, I probably smelled worse than I looked…” he stopped, the beginnings of a rueful smile.

At his last comment, Charlotte suddenly had an urge to laugh, he sounded just like one of her brothers when they were seeking penance. Instead she allowed a wry smile, “You have no need to explain yourself to me, Mr Parker.”

“But I want to explain, and to ask for your forgiveness… please?”

“Alright then, yes, I forgive you. Is that better?” Charlotte now smiled fully. He smiled back, genuinely happy and clearly much relieved.

“Now then, we can have the conversation we should have had the other day. Are you enjoying London, Miss Heywood?”

“Yes, Mr Parker, very much,” Charlotte said, joining in the game. “Lady Susan has been so generous, I am having a marvellous time.”

“And how long do you stay?”

“I will return to Willingden next week, after the Autumn Ball.”

Sidney nodded, “I too will depart London at that time, for Antigua, I have business that will keep me there until March.”

“Oh, goodness! Christmas in the tropics! I cannot even imagine it.”

”Well, it is too hot and humid to follow most of our English traditions, to be honest it will pass largely unnoticed.”

“Does Mrs Parker accompany you?” Charlotte instantly regretted the question, Sidney’s eyes clouded, his smile dissolved. “No she will not, her mother is unwell, she will spend Christmas in Windsor.”

“I am sorry to hear that,” Charlotte said softly, just as the Babbington’s entered the room together.

On her carriage ride home Charlotte went over every second of her encounter with Sidney. He had departed with Lord Babbington immediately after their last exchange. Their farewell had been polite but perfunctory.

Why had she asked him about Eliza? It had just popped into her head, was she testing his reaction to having to talk about his wife? Did she just want comfort in the knowledge that he would go alone to Antigua? Or did she want to punish him, remind him that seeking her out, smiling that rare smile just for her, was wrong and unfair? He had foregone every right to do that three months ago. He was married now, to someone else, she should not even be thinking about him, at all, ever again. Her inner turmoil just had to cease, or she would go insane. She must find a way to salve her soul and move forward. She managed to dry her tears just as the carriage drew up out outside Lady Susan’s house.

At the same time, Lord Babbington’s carriage was conveying the two gentlemen to Crowe’s apartments. Sidney was slumped in a corner, staring out the window. Babbington had attempted to start a conversation twice without success and realized that it would be pointless to arrive at a soiree with a mute companion. He banged twice on the roof of the carriage and alerted the driver to a change of plans, requesting instead that they be driven through Hyde Park to the Serpentine.

The pair had strolled for ten minutes around the edge of the lake before Sidney spoke. “I find myself in an insurmountable quandary, Babbington. I have a wife, largely blameless, whom I do not love, and I have a family, also largely blameless, whom I do. But I cannot be with either without constant reminder of the woman who consumes my every thought, and the reason I cannot be with her. I am filled with sadness and regret at every turn. And to compound the situation, she is here. Our conversation at your house made me sure that the pain I have caused her still affects her, not so much in what she said, but her eyes always display her true feelings.”

Sidney paused to pick up a stick from the grass and hurl it into the water. He turned back to Babbington, “So, I apologise my good friend, you have done nothing but prop me up for months, but to your undoubted relief I shall soon be away.”

Babbington grasped once again for something to say that would ease Sidney’s mind, but he had run out of light hearted replies or diversionary tactics. Instead he simply addressed the situation and hoped for the best. “Sidney, I can’t imagine how sad I would be if Esther had not eventually consented to be my wife. It is obvious to Esther and I that both Charlotte and yourself are suffering enormously, that being in each others company causes pleasure and pain in equal measure. But you must consider Charlotte’s status as a single gentlewoman. Her reputation is paramount, you will be doing the best for her by leaving London next week and letting her move ahead on the path she chooses.”

Sidney nodded, “Yes, you’re right, Charlotte’s welfare is the most important thing in this mess…” “But,” Babbington interrupted, “If I were you I don’t think I could pass up the chance for one more dance at the ball, the chance for a final farewell..”


	3. Chapter 3

Charlotte’s preparations for the Autumn Ball began early in the afternoon, a final dress fitting, accessories selected, a light refreshment served. Charlotte’s mood was quite harmonious, she was looking forward to this evening. She had always loved to dance, and a ball was also the perfect way to say goodbye to many of the people she had met in London. She was quite happy to be going home to Willingden also, a recent rush of home sickness had been accompanied by an acute wish to be able to shake her hair loose and run, just run across a field and have none but the birds for company. Let tonight unfold as it may, her resolve to accept what she could not change had at last begun to strengthen.

Charlotte’s dress was of pale blue silk trimmed with silver, her shining brown curls were piled on top of her head. Lady Susan’s sapphires adorned her throat, a spray of tiny white flowers sat just above her ear. She had never looked more beautiful.

A lively tune was being played as Charlotte and Lady Susan entered the ballroom, their arrival perfectly timed as always. Matthew Forster was the first to ask Charlotte to dance, his reward for watching the door constantly for the past half an hour. Matthew was a fine dancer and easy company, they passed the first three dances in style. Realising he must share her at least for a little while, Matthew brought Charlotte a glass of claret and allowed the ebb and flow of the milieu to separate them. Charlotte had not had a chance to survey the crowd, she cast a glance around the ballroom. She spotted the Babbingtons, and Crowe, and slightly off to the side she felt a jolt as she recognized the beautifully coiffed blonde head of Eliza Parker. Sidney was undoubtedly here too. Charlotte took another large sip of claret. She would be calm, poised, assured. 

Sidney Parker was indeed present. He had stood as far from the throng as he could manage. He always preferred being on the fringe at such occasions, his opinion of the bulk of London society was rather scathing much to Eliza’s annoyance. Also, he found if he was too visible he was likely to be approached by silly young women with obvious intentions, and heaven forbid, sometimes forced to dance with them to avoid being rude. 

He had a filtered view of the dance floor through the carousing crowd. Charlotte had caught his eye as soon as he had entered the ballroom, she looked so beautiful, his heart literally skipped a beat. She was so blissfully unaware of the attention she garnered wherever she went. He saw her relaxing in the company of some soldiers, watched her dancing, laughing. Sidney was only half listening to any of the conversations around him, Eliza had looked daggers at him more than once. 

He should not have come, it was too painful, even the port was not dulling the ache in his chest. Lord Babbington’s words echoed in his head, he should let her be, let her move on, it was the right thing, the only thing to do. One more look at her beautiful face and he would turn away. Sidney’s eyes narrowed as he caught a glimpse of a pale blue dress across the room, something was not quite right… 

The evening wore on, Charlotte was never without attentive company. Lady Susan watched her as she drank slightly more wine than was usual, her spirited repartee delighting her audience. Prospective dance partners jostled for position. The current leader of this pack was an older gentleman who appeared a little the worse for drink. Charlotte protested that her feet required a rest, that she needed some air and was not inclined to dance at present, but her suitor was not to be deflected so easily. He corralled her towards the open window at the edge of the ballroom, his hand slightly too firm on her arm. Charlotte made to escape but he stood too close, prevented her from moving. She protested in a stronger tone but he responded by placing his hand firmly at her waist, leaning his face towards her neck. “Sir! Please!”, Charlotte struggled. 

“Lord Babbage!” A deep authoritative voice interrupted the scene. “I believe the lady resists.” Sidney’s eyes flashed as he grasped Lord Babbage’s arm and pulled him back.

“I say!” blustered the Lord, straightening his sleeve. “What do you think you’re doing?!” 

Positioning himself between Charlotte and the Lord, Sidney growled, “I am asking Miss Heywood if she would like to dance with me, as she clearly does not want to do so with you.” Turning to Charlotte, he held out his arm to her, “Miss Heywood?” 

Charlotte, whilst a little stunned, was still seething at Lord Babbage’s repulsive behaviour. She paused for a second, then placed her gloved hand on his, tossed her head back to look directly up at Sidney and said clearly, “Yes, please”.

As they walked to the dance floor, they saw no one else in the room. Charlotte felt light headed from the wine but also full of a sense of inevitability, she was meant to be here in London this night, they were meant to share this last dance. The music started, a waltz. Charlotte slid her right hand into Sidney’s, her left glided up his arm to rest on his shoulder, Sidney smoothly steered her backwards. 

“Thank you,” she said. “There was never any chance of me dancing with that odious man,” she shuddered. 

“Then I’m glad you deem me to be better than “odious”, at least”, Sidney smiled. 

“Well, somewhat, I suppose”, Charlotte grinned. At that, Sidney raised his eyebrows and laughed, an event which was not lost on the Babbingtons dancing nearby. “My God,” Esther said, “Did you hear that?”

“Yes,” her husband replied, “I had thought never to hear it again, and probably will not unless the universe turns inside out and allows them to finally be together.”

For these few moments, Sidney and Charlotte existed only for each other. Sidney held her closer than custom dictated, as they whirled around the dance floor Charlotte could feel her chest against his, his arm firm against her back. She soaked up every second, her eyes never left his, a last chance to savour his strength, his beauty, to smell him, watch him. 

As the dance came to an end, Sidney did not release her, “Charlotte…” his eyes searched hers. 

Just the sound of his voice saying her name was enough to lead her to the edge of the abyss, she could not fall in again. “Please, stop.” Charlotte said earnestly, a slightly panicked look on her face. 

She dropped her arms and stepped slightly back, “You must call me Miss Heywood, I must call you Mr Parker. This will be our last dance. You will go to Antigua, I will go to Willingden. That is all.” Tears threatened, she could see her shaky words had stung him, but she was resolute. She longed to reach up and place her hand on his clenched jaw, but instead dropped a small curtsey and said, “Thank you, Mr Parker.” Sidney could only nod sadly, he bowed, and watched her walk away.


	4. Chapter 4

As the carriage drew closer to Willingden, Charlotte felt her spirits lift. She had had no further contact with Sidney after the ball. Matthew Forster had paid her a farewell visit and had suggested he might write to her father to request that he be permitted to write to her. Calmly, Charlotte had smiled and said yes that would be very agreeable.

Lady Susan had seen Charlotte’s demeanour change somewhat in the past week, had seen her shoulders set, was glad to see her display an air of acceptance. She would recover from this heartbreak and move forward.

Little did everyone realise that Charlotte had stored all her memories of Sidney in a part of her heart that would never be released for anyone else. He would always be with her.

Her family was thrilled to see her back and looking more like her old self. She threw herself into preparations for Christmas, the Heywoods shared their celebration with the whole village. Charlotte, knowing that she had sorely neglected her valued friendship with Mary Parker since leaving Sanditon, had written a long letter detailing her exploits over the last few months, and asking forgiveness for her tardiness in replying to Mary’s previous correspondence.

She also wrote letters in response to Matthew Forster, she could sense his keen interest in visiting her in Willingden, and indeed it wasn’t long before her father requested a word with her on the subject. Matthew had applied to her father for permission to travel to Willingden before he was required to rejoin his regiment. Charlotte could tell that her parents were happy for him to come should she wish it, she knew they worried for her future, she was now 23 years old, Matthew was a very suitable match.

Matthew Forster arrived in Willingden in early December, he was to stay with the Heywood family for five days before returning to Windsor and then on to Derbyshire with his regiment. Her entire family was taken with Matthew, he was very accustomed to small children having six nieces and nephews and was happy to entertain Charlotte’s siblings for hours.

Matthew’s chief interest was farming, he spent much time with Mr Heywood on the estate. Mrs Heywood could immediately sense Matthew’s honourable intentions towards her daughter, she was very happy to see how well Charlotte responded to his honest, uncomplicated manner.

It was settled that Matthew and Charlotte would be married at the beginning of February in Willingden. Matthew could secure a month’s furlough at that time, after the wedding the newlyweds would then journey to Windsor to move into their new home on Matthew’s family estate.

An engagement of only just longer than a month threw Charlotte’s entire household into a state of high excitement. A wedding was to be planned, clothes prepared, accommodations sourced for guests. The list seemed endless but somehow all preparations were completed in time. Neither bride nor groom were interested in an elaborate affair, just close family and friends, the nuptials to be performed in the small church at Willingden.

The night before her wedding, Charlotte stood in her night dress surveying herself in the mirror. Alison had offered to vacate their bedroom so Charlotte could be alone this night but Charlotte declined. Alison was her closest sibling, was to be her bridesmaid, this was their last chance to spend time together for a long period.

Alison sat on the bed, “He is a lovely man Charlotte,” she said. “You’ve made Mother and Father very happy. Are you happy though? Really happy?”

Charlotte gazed at her sister’s reflection as she responded, “I think I can be, Alison... No, that’s not right, it’s more than that, yes I am happy. I’m happy to have relieved our parents of the worry of what to do with me. I’m happy that I’ve made Matthew happy, you’re right, he is an excellent man. I’m happy that I’ll be living in the country, that we can raise our children there. His family supports us wholeheartedly. His brother and sister in law live on the estate with their children also, I’ve had letters from them, they seem very welcoming. I don’t think my future will want for anything. I am very lucky, Alison, really.” She turned and sat beside her sister on the bed.

Alison nodded slowly, “Do you realise you did not utter the word “love” once in that entire speech?”

Charlotte took Alison’s hands in hers and looked down at them, “I once held firm notions of what true love should be, childish ideas about sacrificing all else to marry only for love. It was pointed out to me recently that my beliefs had been formed by reading stories in books, that they certainly did not always represent real life. Alison, I am sure that I will love Matthew in time and we will make a very successful marriage.”

“Oh Charlotte,” Alison’s eyes filled with tears. “I know you, you have so much love to give. I also know that the man who embodies your idea of true love is not the man you will marry tomorrow. What will you do if he enters your life again?”

“If you’re referring to Mr Sidney Parker I have closed that chapter, Alison. He is married, I will be married, our lives have taken different roads.” Charlotte’s tone was flat, one of finality. “Now, we need to get some sleep, tomorrow will likely be a busy day!”

Some hours later, Charlotte was still awake. She arose and padded softly to the window, her face turned up to look at the bright shining moon. Now the tears rolled down her cheeks unchecked. As she grieved what might have been, she imagined Sidney staring up at the same sky, thousands of miles away.

Matthew and Charlotte Forster arrived to take up residence in Windsor in mid February. Charlotte’s days were full, she relished the chance to create a home of her own and was well occupied meeting all Matthew’s family, friends and neighbours. Matthew took great delight in showing off his beautiful new bride.

Charlotte wrote frequent letters to Willingden describing her new life in glowing terms. In truth this was not difficult, her house was very comfortable and attractive, there was plenty of opportunity for her to become active in the local community and she was heartily welcomed by all who met her. Charlotte had always enjoyed riding, Matthew knew his wife was not yet proficient on a side saddle (standards in Willingden were a little more relaxed in that regard) so he or sometimes a groom would accompany her when weather permitted and she could explore the full extent of the estate.

As Matthew was due to return to his regiment in three weeks, he barely left his wife’s side. Charlotte was given very little time to herself, to pause, to let her mind wander. Instead there were tiny flashes of regret, at night when it was Matthew not Sidney, in company when she caught the scent of leather and tobacco. “This pain will ease,” she told herself, “I just need more time.”

The day was approaching when Matthew would depart to rejoin his regiment. Charlotte was in the midst of discussions with her cook regarding Matthew’s farewell dinner when a maid approached bearing the day’s mail on a tray. Her eyes caught sight of a letter addressed to her in a familiar but unexpected hand. “Tom Parker!” she exclaimed, “Excuse me, Mrs Smith, I shall retire to read this one, we will continue this discussion shortly.”

As Charlotte took the letter into the library, her mind whirled, was it bad news? Sidney? She tore the seal open and sank down into a chair beside the window. No, it was Mary. She had been ill at the time of Charlotte’s wedding so the Parkers had been unable to attend. Tom now wrote that she had since become worse, Dr Fuchs had recommended full bed rest. Her symptoms had now lessened, but she was still far from recovered and yet determined to be up and about most of the day, therefore further jeopardizing her health.

Diana had come to stay for a week but her anxiety in the presence of a real illness, and her propensity to always fear the worst, was not altogether helpful. A letter from Arthur, initiated by Tom, pleading for her to return to London was successful and thankfully she departed on the next coach.

Would Charlotte please consider coming to stay in Sanditon for a few weeks? Having Charlotte to oversee the children and generally calm the waters would possibly convince Mary that the household would not disintegrate without her. Tom would be forever grateful.

Charlotte lowered the letter and thought for a moment. Then she went to her writing desk and drew out paper and quill. Of course, she would go, it was not in her nature to refuse a request for help from anyone, let alone from the family who had effectively charted the course of her whole life. She started to write a response to Tom, she would leave immediately after Matthew departed and stay as long as they needed her.

Matthew was very understanding, he had already expected Charlotte to spend some time in Willingden whilst he was away. Laying in bed that evening, Charlotte felt a surge of excitement which she quickly fought to suppress, Sidney was to return to England next month, he may well decide to visit his family up on his return. “I’ll cross that bridge if I come to it”, Charlotte thought, and firmly instructed herself to henceforth ignore that thought completely.


	5. Chapter 5

Mid March

The children bounded out of their school room on the top floor of Trafalgar House, their feet pounding down the stairs to escape the boredom of lessons as quickly as they could. Charlotte emerged from her bedroom to meet them on the landing, prepared for their disappointment when she explained that plans to go beach combing before dinner would have to be cancelled due to bad weather. She knew children were usually happily distracted by the prospect of a treat from the kitchen, and the promise of a battle between the French and the red coats in the library to follow ensured that the beach was forgotten soon enough.

Jam tarts dispatched into little round tummies, Charlotte’s French army (of one) had been forced into a corner of the library by the feisty English militia. She was soon surrounded, her brave last stand was thwarted by a bayonet through her heart and she fell to the ground in the doorway as the littlest red coat sat atop her, holding his sword high in a victory salute.

Charlotte chuckled as she continued to feign death. The battle had been somewhat frenetic and she was glad to use her demise as an excuse to catch her breath. She heard the front door open, the sound of boots walking down the hallway. The children became enthused about telling their father of their victory. Charlotte heard the footsteps stop nearby and felt Henry being lifted from atop her.

Amid the squeals of delight from little ones, Charlotte heard a voice, “I think the enemy has been soundly defeated Henry, but if you want Mrs Forster to live to fight another day, I think we must let her up.” Before Charlotte opened her eyes, an involuntary gasp escaped her lips. Sidney was standing over her, holding out his hands, she raised her own and he lifted her to her feet in one smooth motion.

Five seconds, ten. He still held her hands, just looked into her eyes.

“Charlotte,” he said.

Charlotte felt her lungs constrict, her heart thud, then the sense of time and place overtook. Taking in his deeply tanned skin and slightly damp, dishevelled appearance she laughed softly and through glistening eyes turned to the children clamouring behind them.

“Look, Uncle Sidney appears just like a pirate does he not?”

Sidney Parker’s unannounced arrival was a surprise for all in Sanditon. The ship from Antigua had docked in London three days previously, at the house the servants had told him of Eliza’s journey to Windsor, her mother was still unwell, she would be absent at least another few days.

The following day he sought the company of Arthur and Diana who were overjoyed to welcome him back safely, relating all the family news including that of Mary’s illness and the most welcome presence of Mrs Charlotte Forster at Trafalgar House. As a letter from Mary had reached him in Antigua, Charlotte’s marriage was not new information, but her visit to Sanditon was.

Sidney departed London at first light the next day. Foregoing the pleasure of riding Sir for the first time in months, he chose the carriage as his mode of transport; by changing horses the trip could be achieved in less time. Yet still the journey seemed excruciatingly slow. At last driving through the streets of Sanditon in fading light he leaned forward slightly in anticipation, just to see her, to hear her, he hoped would be enough. He had foregone the right to anything more.

At the evening meal, Tom had toasted his brother’s safe return at least five times, and Mary’s spirited laughter proved that she was indeed recuperating as Dr Fuchs had hoped. As Sidney talked of Antigua, business related matters as well as lighter stories of spending Christmas in the Caribbean, Charlotte’s mind was reeling. It was still unclear as to whether he had actually known she would be in Sanditon at this time. Tom and Mary obviously assumed he was visiting to alert them to his return from Antigua and to inspect the progress on the rebuilding of the Terraces. Indeed the whole evening passed in a very pleasant manner, to any outsider it would have appeared a scene cloaked in comfortable familiarity.

Sleep eluded Charlotte. The longer she lay awake, the more distressed she became. The last few months had eventually yielded some progress. She had no longer felt physical pain when unbidden thoughts of Sidney entered her head, her mind had begun to process a future as a gentleman’s wife in Windsor, some charity work, motherhood.

Now she felt decidedly back at square one. His physical presence alone threatened to annihilate her defences. Spending time in the tropics had darkened his skin so that his eyes, his smile, were both so vivid in his handsome face. When he addressed her his voice seemed deeper, seemed to caress her.

Why had he done this? Appeared out of nowhere, did he imagine that she would get through this unscathed? He knew she was married now, did he assume she had suddenly ceased to regard him at all? Or did he not care? Just to ride off into the sunset in a few days, leaving her heart in shreds again??

In desperation Charlotte threw back her quilt and jumped out of bed, wrapped a shawl about her nightdress and took up a candle. Reading always brought her solace but her book was downstairs in the library, she’d pop down and retrieve it, it was very late, the house would be well and truly asleep.

Charlotte padded softly along the downstairs hallway, the fire in the library was burning low but emitted enough light for her to see her book on the table nearby, and to see Sidney’s forearm hanging over the arm of a fireside chair.

Charlotte stopped in the shadows, unsure whether to retreat. After a few seconds she took another step forward and could now see that Sidney was slouched in the chair asleep, minus his coat and cravat, sleeves rolled up to his elbows. The glass of port still propped in his hand was in danger of being upended all over the rug. She tiptoed closer, her fingers closed around the top of the glass and she gently lifted it.

Sidney’s fingers flexed and his eyes opened.

Charlotte froze momentarily. “I’m so sorry,” she said softly. “I never meant to wake you, just to rescue this glass,” she continued, setting it down on the table and stepping back. “I came down for my book you see…”

“Charlotte,” Sidney rose a little unsteadily, stood facing her. As she gazed up into his eyes, Charlotte could read all the answers to the questions that were keeping her awake. Yes he was here to see her, yes he still loved her, yes he knew he should remain silent, could do nothing.

His eyes drifted down her body, burning through her thin linen shift until his head hung low and he spoke. “Charlotte, I should not speak of this but… I must know, please forgive me… do you love him?”

His voice sounded thick, as if a little drunk, but his tone was so apologetic, forlorn even, that Charlotte’s first impulse was to place her hand on his cheek, to lift his eyes back up to hers, so he could see that she understood his pain only too well. Except that she couldn’t do such a thing. She could merely answer him honestly.

Sidney’s admission to her last summer that he did not love Eliza, although she did not think it right for him to discuss with her at the time, had been both a blessing and a curse to her. It allowed her to believe that he was sincere in his intentions towards her, that hers had not been a case of unrequited first love. But it also meant that he would most likely not have a happy future, and the thought of someone she loved suffering immeasurably, caused Charlotte great anguish.

She considered her words carefully, “He is the best kind of boy. He says he loves me, and I know he will take my every wish into account when planning our future. Do I like him? Yes, very much. Do I love him?” She paused. Sidney raised his head to look at her face, his expression blank, jaw clenched. Do I love him like I love you? she yearned to say. But instead, “No, I do not love him,” her voice was very soft.

Sidney turned away, propped his left arm on the mantelpiece and laid his head on it. “I almost wish that you did, to make some sense out of this...” He looked so incredibly sad that Charlotte could no longer remain still. She moved closer to him and placed her hand on his shoulder.

“Sidney…” she began. He lifted his head, an intensity in his expression that took her breath. Her hand dropped, but she didn’t move away. They were too close, dangerously close. Sidney suddenly reached out with both hands and grabbed her arms.

Charlotte’s heart was pounding, she could feel his heat on her body, his beautiful face was so close to hers. His grip was firm, “Charlotte, I am so sorry, I should not even be here, go back to bed, before… “ he didn’t finish, just released her. Charlotte stepped backwards on unsteady legs, tears pricked her eyes, her face crumpled, what had she done? She turned and fled.

Charlotte’s thoughts swirled for hours. It was inescapable, inevitable that the wound in her heart had opened up again. Impossible to expect that she could spend time in Sidney’s company without mourning the loss of their future together all over again.

She knew that they were both treading on very thin ice, knew that in her heart and mind she had already been unfaithful to her husband. 


	6. Chapter 6

Charlotte fell asleep just before dawn, and awoke to the sound of a soft knock at her door. It slowly opened to reveal three tawny blonde heads peering in.

“Good morning,” Charlotte managed a smile, “have I overslept?”

The children proceeded to tell her that it was nearly nine o’clock and that she had missed breakfast and would she like a cup of tea brought up? As they set off on their mission, Charlotte readied herself for the day. She looked out the window, the sun was shining, the street was bustling. She had decided it was a perfect morning for a ride, a chance to sort out her thoughts.

The groom brought Charlotte’s horse around the front of the house and helped her mount. “Sally’s thrown a shoe Ma’am, this is Blackie, he’s not as used to the side saddle so I hope he’s not too feisty for you. The weather will turn this afternoon, ma’am, there’s a storm coming. Don’t you be out too long.”

Charlotte nodded her thanks, gathered up the reins and set off. As she approached the Terraces she saw Sidney and Tom speaking with some workmen. Assuming she had passed them unnoticed, Charlotte urged Blackie into a trot. Sidney’s dark eyes followed her until she rounded a corner out of sight.

Charlotte rode along the cliff tops and down towards Sanditon House, horse and rider both enjoying the freedom. It was her intention to spend this time reminding herself that Sidney would be gone the next day, that she was a married woman, this infatuation with a married man was pointless and very wrong, how would her mother feel if she knew the truth?

But instead, Charlotte’s thoughts were swept away by the vision of the sea, sparkling in the morning sun. Her eyes followed the path of a hawk, soaring on the breeze. The angst that had prevented her sleep was largely gone, replaced by the peaceful solace she always felt when surrounded by nature’s beauty.

Charlotte turned Blackie off the main road onto a country lane leading down to the river. They meandered slowly as an hour ticked by, Charlotte searching for colourful signs of approaching Spring and completely forgetting the groom’s warning about bad weather.

Riding through an avenue of trees, Charlotte heard the leaves rustling as the breeze suddenly picked up. It wasn’t until she passed beyond the tree canopy that she saw the scudding clouds rapidly forming overhead to block the sun.

The loud crash of thunder took them both by surprise, Blackie reared and tossed his head back before leaping forward and accelerating into a headlong gallop. Charlotte had lost all control, her foot had slipped from the stirrup, she cursed the sidesaddle loudly and hung on for grim death. She knew that Blackie would of course stop eventually. He was a tall, strong horse and her pulling on the reins had no effect at all, it was just a matter of staying put.

They careened down the lane, more rolling thunder covering the sound of pounding hooves. Suddenly a rabbit darted out from under a fence and across their path, Blackie shied and veered sharply. Charlotte was thrown out of the saddle and against the fence, her head glancing off the post. The first rain drops fell on her as she lay crumpled on the grass.

At the first clap of thunder Sidney had looked towards the sky and frowned. He left Tom at the building site and walked briskly back to Trafalgar House. Bursting through the front door, he met Mary descending the stairs, “Is Charlotte returned from her ride?”

“Oh, Sidney, no, she is not back, a little worrying actually, she promised Jenny she would be back by now to help with her schoolwork…I don’t like the sound of that storm.” Mary walked to the window as large raindrops began to splatter the glass.

Sidney wheeled around and grabbed his cloak from the hat stand, “I’ll go, she can’t be far away.”

He ran back out the door and around to the stables, barking at the groom to saddle a horse, “Mrs Forster, where was she heading?”

“I believe she was intending to ride towards Sanditon House and the river, Sir. Do you want me to send a search party?” Sidney jumped up into the saddle, “No, I’ll find her.”

Setting off at a cracking pace, Sidney lowered his head against the wind. He knew Charlotte would never break a commitment to the children, something must have happened.

It wasn’t long before he reached the junction with the country lane, knowing it led to the river he urged the horse in that direction. The first thing he saw was Blackie, standing under an oak tree. Then he saw Charlotte.

The throbbing in her head had subsided to a dull ache, but she was still too foggy to stand up. Sitting against the fence post, Charlotte looked up sheepishly as Sidney dismounted, kneeling at her side, relief and concern were written in equal measure on his face. The rain was still only intermittent drops, but enough to wash a trickle of blood from her head down to her neck.

“I must look a sight,” she said, reaching her hand up to brush the hair back from her face, “I hate to cause you all this trouble.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I love riding around in storms.” He leaned forward to inspect the wound in her hair, as he touched it she winced.

“Sorry, it’s not a deep cut I don’t think. We need to get out of the rain, there’s an old barn just over there, I’ll carry you, then come back for the horses.”

“No, I can walk,” Charlotte protested, trying to rise.

“This way is faster,” Sidney reached under her legs and easily picked her up, “Put your arms around my neck.”

Charlotte complied. “You must have really bumped your head, you just did as I asked,” Sidney said with a wry grin. “I’m sure it will pass,” Charlotte smiled.

They surveyed the ancient barn from the entrance, at least it appeared dry inside. Sidney gently lowered Charlotte down on a pile of dry old hay, took off his cloak and laid it over her legs, “I’ll be back,” he said.

After settling the horses in an adjacent lean to, Sidney made it back into the barn just as the heavens opened. Charlotte had removed her wet jacket and boots, sitting down next to her Sidney did the same.

“What happened?” he asked. Charlotte described the events after the clap of thunder, making the point that had she been riding astride none of this would have happened. “I should be back helping the children by now, I hope they’re not worried about me.”

“That’s why I’m here, I knew you would not let them down, that something was wrong. Everyone will assume I’ve found you and we’re just sheltering somewhere from the storm.”

Charlotte turned to face Sidney, “I don’t believe I’ve said thank you yet. Actually, I don’t believe I ever said thank you for rescuing me from certain catastrophe in London either.”

Sidney’s steady gaze held her eyes, “Charlotte, I don’t need your gratitude. I simply couldn’t bear it if anything happened to you, that is all.”

The raw honesty in his face was more than Charlotte could stand. Every resolve crumbled, every fibre in her being was drawn to him. Her hand reached up and cupped his cheek. Sidney momentarily closed his eyes, the small crease that Charlotte knew so well appeared between them as he frowned. Then he grasped her wrist, turned his head, and placed his mouth on her palm.

Charlotte inhaled sharply, her lips parted, her mind reeled and slipped, she was undone. Sidney rested his hand on the back of her head, drew her face forward, he whispered her name, then his lips met hers, a soft kiss at first then deeper and deeper. His other arm cradled her back, he lowered her gently back against the hay, Charlotte felt her bones turn to liquid as she melted into his strong embrace.

They drew apart, breathing heavily. Sidney spoke first, “Charlotte, I know this is wrong, I …” Charlotte put a finger to his lips, “Hush, I just do not have the power to resist this - us, I should but I cannot. Sidney, I want you, I want this between us, just this once, I will live on it forever.”

“Charlotte, my love, my life ...” Sidney’s lips traced a hot path down her neck, her chest, his hands pulling at the buttons of her blouse, burning her skin as they slid under it. Sidney threw off his shirt, Charlotte felt the weight of him on top of her, she revelled in the power under her fingers when she gripped his shoulders, the smooth skin on his muscular back.

Sidney ripped open the buttons on her skirt and pulled it off, ran his hand up her thigh, lifted her hips to fit under him. Her arms and legs wrapped around him like silken ropes, binding them together. Charlotte’s heart pounded in her throat against his lips, she arched her back, rose to meet his passion with her own, until in the spiralling rapture there were no longer words or thoughts.


	7. Chapter 7

They lay under Sidney’s cloak, Charlotte’s leg across his thighs, her head on his chest, Sidney’s arms wrapped tightly around her. The storm had passed, they were both aware of the distinct possibility of someone coming to search for them.

Sidney’s cheek was resting on the top of Charlotte’s head, he breathed in the scent of her once more, “Charlotte, I want to stay here for the rest of my life, but apart from the increasing likelihood of us being discovered, the hay is beginning to make me itch like a monkey.” He felt Charlotte smile against his chest, “You might have to help me dress, I’m sure I’ll never find all my buttons.”

She sat up, her hair had completely escaped its hairpins, the curls cascading over her naked shoulders. Her lips were rosy and plump, her eyes luminous, sparkling. Sidney gazed at her, soaking up the vision as if imprinting it on his mind.

“You are so beautiful, I will always remember you like this,” he said softly. “I love you so, Charlotte.”

“I love you, Sidney Parker,” Charlotte replied, smiling with tearbright eyes. “Wherever our lives lead us, I will always carry you with me.”

They rose and dressed, Charlotte making the best of the limited number of buttons left on her skirt and the limited number of hairpins they could find scattered in the hay. Sidney saddled the horses and helped Charlotte mount Blackie.

They rode slowly back down the road, the sun now shining, making the wet landscape glisten. Charlotte related some funny anecdotes about Sidney’s nieces and nephew, Sidney talked about his friends in Antigua and his business there. Neither wanted to break the spell, all discussion of the future was avoided, as if the world started and ended right there and then.

It was mid afternoon when they arrived back in Sanditon. Tom and Mary, rightly assuming that they had been sheltering from the storm, bustled them inside and called for tea and cakes.

Charlotte regaled the children with a slightly overdramatic version of her escapade with Blackie, making sure to extend her adventure so, for anyone doing a calculation, it would appear that she and Sidney were only together alone for a short time before they returned.

Mary called for Dr Fuchs to come and examine Charlotte’s wound, he pronounced it a graze that would heal by itself but requested that Mary carefully wash the dried blood away.

Upstairs before dinner Mary called for a bath to be drawn for Charlotte in her bedroom, she stayed to help her remove her riding habit. As they chatted, Mary lifted the skirt as Charlotte stepped out of it, and gathering the chemise and blouse, prepared to lay them over a chair.

Her attention was drawn by the loose and missing buttons, and a tear in the chemise. “Charlotte, I will have to… oh, never mind.” She bit her lip as a thought struck her.

“Pardon, Mary?” Charlotte asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing, hop in and I’ll start sponging your hair.”

Sidney was leaving for London early the next morning so he made his goodbyes to everyone before they retired to bed. He kissed Mary and gave Tom a brotherly backslapping hug. Turning to Charlotte, he took her hand and kissed it, “Goodbye Charlotte, I hope you have a safe journey home, perhaps a carriage this time instead of a sidesaddle.”

Charlotte smiled knowingly, “Goodbye Sidney, let me again express my sincere appreciation for all that you did yesterday.”

His back turned to Tom and Mary, Sidney grinned and raised an eyebrow, “Not at all, I was only too happy to oblige.”

Charlotte woke very early the next morning, listened for the sound of Sidney’s boots on the stairs. She knew the rest of the house would not be up yet, she could not let him go without a proper goodbye. As she heard his door open, she jumped out of bed, threw on a robe and followed him down.

Sidney placed his valise near the front door, took Charlotte’s hand and led her quickly into the library. Wordlessly, she fell into his embrace, drew her arms around him, buried her face in his neck. Sidney held her tightly, nearly lifting her off the floor. She tipped her head back, he met her upturned lips with his, a deep searching kiss, both wanting it to last forever.

Eventually they broke apart and stood facing each other, Sidney took Charlotte’s hands in his, his thumbs caressing her fingers. Their foreheads touched, Charlotte’s breath caught, almost a sigh, almost a sob.

“Goodbye Charlotte, I love you, only you, I truly wish you every happiness.”

“I will never forget this time together, Sidney, words are just not enough…”

He kissed her again softly, saw all the love reflected in her beautiful eyes one last time, and walked out of the room, out of the house, the taste of her tears still on his lips.

Charlotte returned to her room, she lay down on her bed, buried her face in her pillow, overcome with emotion. Her tears were bittersweet, she knew that had she chosen to, she could have stayed in Windsor, foregone the chance to see Sidney, protected herself against further heartache. But she also knew in her deepest soul that had she the same choice one thousand times over, she would never change the outcome. She would cherish that chance to be at one with him for the rest of her life.

Rising later with the rest of the family, Charlotte managed to eat breakfast and converse with the children in a normal fashion. She suggested a walk on the beach before their lessons started and they jumped at the chance. Watching them play in the rockpools, Charlotte’s mind wandered, where was Sidney now? Had he stopped for breakfast? Was he catching up on sleep?

Enough! Shaking her head, she admonished herself. Today was the beginning of the next part of her life. It did not include Sidney. The memories would have to be enough.

Charlotte and the children returned to Trafalgar House, she made sure their hands and faces were clean and then sent them up to their schoolroom.

“Charlotte, a letter is just arrived for you,” Mary spoke from the drawing room. Charlotte rang for tea, and then sat down on the chaise next to Mary to read. It was from Matthew, he was in Hertfordshire and would be back in Windsor in three weeks, he was very much hoping that she would be there to welcome him.

“Matthew is back in Windsor soon, I really should go home Mary, I’m sorry, I hope it is not too premature, I have so loved being here with you and the children.”

Mary’s eyes filled with love and tenderness. She knew Charlotte and Sidney had been torn apart by the events that occurred at the end of last summer, and that in large part it was due to Tom’s negligence and Sidney’s unfailing loyalty to his family.

She spoke, “Charlotte, I cannot thank you enough for coming here to help us at this time. The children adore you, as do Tom and I.” She paused, took Charlotte’s hands and continued, “I hope you will come and stay with us regularly, whenever you like. I expect Sidney will be a frequent visitor, to check on his investment, and the children worship him as you know. I can arrange for your visit to coincide, or not, if you wish?”

Charlotte took a moment to prepare her answer, to speak in the same code, “Mary, I adore you all also, I hope you know that, and if you need anything you only have to ask. While Matthew is still in the militia I expect to be able to travel freely to Willingden and to Sanditon. Indeed, Matthew has promoted the prospect as he knows I love both places. Sidney is a busy man, who knows where his life with Eliza may lead now. We may meet as acquaintances in the future but I am sure it is best for both of us if there is no preconceived notion of that being possible.”

Mary nodded, she noted the effort Charlotte displayed in maintaining her composure, and replied with a smile, “Very well, of course. Let us plan tonight’s dinner as a farewell then Charlotte, your favourite dessert! I will arrange the carriage for tomorrow.”


	8. Chapter 8

Charlotte and Matthew were reunited in Windsor as expected three weeks later. Upon arrival in the morning he visited his mother briefly first, realizing if he did that he would be free for the rest of the day. He then swept his wife off her feet and informed the staff they were not to be disturbed until dinner.

Early June

Two months passed. Matthew was often away for weeks on end. Charlotte was well used to the frenetic activity that spring brought to a farming estate but the sheer size of this one, the scale of production, was fascinating to her. She wrote long letters to her parents, full of ideas, tempting them to visit with hints about methods they could use in Willingden. But as yet she was unsuccessful, her father maintaining his ‘five mile radius from the farm’ rule with rigid obstinance.

At the beginning of June, the local community celebrated the beginning of each summer with a garden party at the manor house. Preparations were ongoing for weeks, Charlotte was recruited to help with planning the decorative theme, not particularly her forte but she dived in with enthusiasm.

She had been aware for some time that Eliza Parker’s mother, who lived in Windsor, was an acquaintance of Her Ladyship’s, but they had not had cause to meet as yet. That was about to change she noticed, a list of the notable guests had arrived for her to peruse, Mrs Catherine Spencer was included.

The day of the party dawned bright and clear. Matthew was in residence for the week, both he and Charlotte were busy from an early hour. At 12pm, Charlotte returned to her house to dress prior to the guests’ arrival. She chose a pretty light green and pink ensemble that had been made six weeks ago but not yet worn.

Her maid, Sarah, assisted her to remove her day clothes, and lifted the new dress over her head. “Ma’am, there seems to be a problem, the dressmaker has erred, I cannot fasten the buttons.”

“Goodness me,” exclaimed Charlotte, “I must have been eating too much cake! Well, the blue one will have to do, the ruching on the front of that one is more forgiving.”

Charlotte knew that she had not suddenly developed an addiction to cake, if anything she had felt a little unwell most mornings recently and had eaten less. She also knew that she had not bled since she left Windsor to go to Sanditon at the beginning of March.

After Sarah had completed the final touches, she left the room. Charlotte sat down on her bed, deep in thought. Charlotte was a farm girl who had many younger siblings, the reproductive cycle of animals and humans was no mystery to her. She of course knew she was most likely with child, and that it would become obvious to others very soon.

Charlotte’s heart began to race, the feelings of happiness and excitement were overwhelming, but marred with much regret and sadness that Sidney could never know that he was a father. The practical side of Charlotte’s nature weighed everything up, luckily Sidney’s dark colouring matched her own brown eyes and hair, and a three week discrepancy in due dates could easily be explained by a premature birth.

She had not spoken of her happy news to Matthew, could not yet bring herself to renounce Sidney’s position as the baby’s father to those she held dear. Yet lie she must, Charlotte knew that Matthew would be destroyed by the truth, her child’s future would be at risk, the safety of Sidney’s family depended on his marriage to Eliza. No, she must bear the weight of the deception alone.

Standing in the garden some hours later, Charlotte was taking a minute’s respite, watching some children playing tag in the trees. She had been sharing hostess duties with Matthew’s mother, Lady Mary, and his sister in law, Lady Annabel, but had sneaked quietly away, she was quite sick of her own voice.

Her introduction to Mrs Spencer had gone well, Charlotte did speak of her acquaintance with Mr and Mrs Parker, she saw no point in avoiding what would be an obvious common element upon which to base the necessary small talk. Indeed, Mrs Spencer informed her that she was expecting a short visit from her daughter and son in law very soon, prior to their trip to the continent, as they planned to be gone for the entire summer.

Duty calling, Charlotte sighed and turned back towards the happy gathering. As she walked towards a group of guests standing near the steps leading up to the enormous balcony that stretched almost the entire length of the house, she stopped abruptly, reaching up to shade her eyes.

It couldn’t be. Mrs Spencer was in the assembly, and off to her side stood Sidney and Eliza. Charlotte’s blood drained to her feet. The shock, coupled with the fact that she had been standing in hot sun with nothing to eat and little to drink, took its toll.

She began to sway, her vision blurred, everything became silent, moved in slow motion. She could see Sidney heading towards her, breaking into a run, but he was too late, her legs gave way and she sank to the grass.

Only momentarily unconscious, Charlotte opened her eyes a little just as two strong hands reached under her shoulders and lifted her so she was leaning in a sitting position against a broad black chest. His scent reached her, she heard his voice say her name. Sidney held her as she came to, a sudden wave of nausea threatened, she put a hand over her mouth and pitched forward, luckily to no avail.

“I’m so sorry,” she said softly, sitting up. “Do not worry at all, Mrs Forster. Here, drink a little water, you look very pale.” Sidney handed her a glass, his beautiful, worried face inches from her own.

Having recognized that she was now well able to support herself, he had let her go and was on one knee beside her. Taking a small sip, Charlotte looked at him gratefully, longing to be held once again by those strong arms. “Thank you,” she smiled wanly, preparing to stand up.

“Charlotte!” Matthew came running across the grass. Sidney took her hand and, supporting her with his other arm, pressed her to him, carefully helping her up just as Matthew arrived. “What has happened, are you ill, my dear?”

“No, no, it was nothing, too much sun, that is all, I’ll just sit for a little while, I am fine, really,” Charlotte patted Matthew’s arm.

Matthew addressed Sidney, shook his hand earnestly, “I owe you my thanks, Mr Parker, we are fortunate you were on the scene so quickly.”

“Not at all, Matthew. And please, call me Sidney.”

“It seems only yesterday you gave me a boxing lesson in London, I must have been what, nine, ten years old?”

Sidney smiled and nodded. Wide-eyed, Charlotte looked from one to the other, “I had no idea you were acquainted?”

“Only briefly my dear, George was at Eton with Sidney, I saw him only when George deigned to allow my presence in the company of his associates, so perhaps twice,” Matthew chuckled. “Anyway, my dear, let’s get you inside.”

Sidney bowed as Charlotte thanked him again. The small crowd parted to let Matthew escort her indoors, she could not resist one last look back, their eyes met for a fleeting second before Sidney watched her turn back and walk up the steps.

“Why Sidney, your chivalry knows no bounds.” Eliza’s voice had its usual sarcastic undertone, the group reforming and resuming their chatter.

“Well, we could hardly leave the girl lying on the grass, Eliza,” Mrs Spencer responded. Sidney as usual had ignored his wife’s comment entirely.

“I am sure she’ll recover soon enough. She might have to modify her behaviour though, she spends much time out of doors, often riding the forest trails I’m told,” Mrs Spencer continued. “Matthew may well forbade that soon, all care will be taken of her before the happy event, December or January I’ll wager. A young newlywed suddenly fainting like that? Yes, mark my words.”

“Quite. Excuse me.” Sidney could bear the conversation no longer. He knew he would suffer Eliza’s wrath, but he didn’t care. With a heavy heart he strode away, the nearest tavern beckoning.


	9. Chapter 9

Sidney and Eliza were to sail to France in ten days time. They travelled from Windsor to London, Eliza remaining there to deal with her preparations for the voyage. Sidney rode on to Sanditon, Tom had brought forward the annual regatta in order that Sidney would be able to take his place in the Parker brothers’ team for the rowing race.

The summer in Sanditon had started very well. Many rooms were booked for the months ahead, more bathing machines had been ordered, Tom was expecting bumper crowds. Sanditon’s financial future looked promising.

Sidney arrived at Trafalgar House in the mid afternoon, he was to stay the night, compete in the race in the morning and then bid his family farewell for the next three months. The children were full of news and were much looking forward to the regatta. They had high hopes of winning the sandcastle competition, although they lamented the absence of Charlotte, her moat digging skills would be sorely missed.

Arthur and Diana were also staying in Sanditon for the summer. Mary had taken the opportunity to organize a special family dinner at Trafalgar House, the food, wine and laughter was plentiful, Sidney felt himself relaxing a little for the first time in recent memory.

Mary, however, was not convinced. After midnight, leaving Tom snoring loudly, she donned her robe and descended the stairs. As expected, she found Sidney sitting on the sofa in the library cradling a glass of port, illuminated only by the full moon shining in through the window.

He was staring at the barren fireplace, did not register her entrance. She walked over and sat down next to him.

“Sidney, what is it?” she asked.

He sighed. “I could lie to you and say all is well. That is far from the case, but I do not wish to burden you, Mary.”

“Sidney, I am your sister, if I can help in any way you know I would wish to do so. It might help just to talk, you won’t know unless you try”.

“Very well then”. He drained his glass, reached for the decanter and poured another. He looked at her for the first time, misery written on his face, and grimly spat out the words.

“I cannot think of anything worse than my impending journey to the Continent. Eliza has organized the entire thing, our travels are centred around the whereabouts of her friends, people whom I have never met that she knows from her extensive travels with Campion. Doubtless they will be as insular and vacuous as most of her circle here in England. I am dreading it. But I cannot refuse her, she has a nasty, vengeful streak, I know not what she would do.”

Sidney took a large swallow, placed the glass on the sidetable and leaned forward with his head in his hands. He was silent, Mary could see his jaw clench, obviously struggling to formulate his next words.

“Charlotte is pregnant, Mary. It is not widely known, early still I think. She will no doubt write you soon.” He looked up, shook his head, rubbed his hands over his face. “Aarghh, I have drunk too much, I am speaking too freely…”

Mary placed her hand on his arm, “Sidney, it’s alright, I know that you love each other, I know she means more to you than anyone else in the world.”

“She is my life, Mary.” Sidney looked at her with a raw emotion Mary had never before seen from him. “I am only a whole person when I am in her presence. Without her I am just a shell, just going through the motions. I do not love my wife, our relationship has deteriorated to where I can barely talk to her. I was plotting ways I could annul our marriage when I found out Charlotte had married Matthew. It tore me into pieces. I knew I should leave her alone to plan her new future but what did I do? As soon as I set foot back in England I chased her, here. I made her break her vows, I could have ruined her life!”

Sidney’s eyes were full of tears, he was so desperately unhappy. Mary felt her own tears running down her face.

“Oh, Sidney. The only consolation I can offer you, is my certain opinion that you did not make Charlotte do anything she did not want to do. Indeed, has anyone ever done that?”

Sidney let out a short laugh and shook his head, “No”.

Mary wondered how candid she should be. It was obvious to her that Charlotte could well be carrying Sidney’s baby, was it best for her to keep that to herself? Would that knowledge make him feel better or infinitely worse? No, she should not risk it, it was not her story to tell.

Sidney took a deep breath, wiped his eyes. “There is nothing for it of course but to go with Eliza to France. Charlotte will get on with her life, my plight is of my own making, obviously I only wish her every happiness.”

Mary hesitated before speaking,”Sidney, are you really considering a divorce?”

“Would that I could. I know it is possible, one must petition the right people to assist of course. But rest assured that will never happen if it places Tom in financial difficulties. My loyalty in that regard is still completely with my family.”

“Oh Sidney, we all love you very much. I hope you know that. Promise me that if it all gets too intolerable in the next few months you will just come to Sanditon? You will always have a home here….”

Sidney nodded, “Thank you, Mary. You know I think you were right, I do feel a little better after getting all that off my chest.” He rose and held out his hand to help her up also. “We best retire, I am sure you have loads to do at the regatta tomorrow and unlike my good friend Crowe I do not perform at my best when hungover.”


	10. Chapter 10

The summer months passed in a whirl of activity for Charlotte. Her health was excellent, the doctor was very pleased with the progress of her confinement and displayed no suspicion that the dates she had provided may not be correct. She maintained her normal range of activities, enjoying long walks and rides, her only concession being to avoid the midday heat.

Matthew, of course, was ecstatic to find out he was to be a father. Any fear Charlotte may have had that she would be unable to sustain her deception was soon allayed. Her maternal instincts prevailed, to do or say anything that would jeopardise the future of her baby was unthinkable. She turned into the consummate liar, no one would ever know.

Matthew hated the thought of being away from both his wife and his child, so had made the decision to resign his commission before the baby was born at the end of the year and commence the occupation he had always desired, overseeing the productive arm of the estate. His brother George had heartily agreed with his plan, they were both very much looking forward to working closely together.

In late June Charlotte travelled to Willingden to inform her family of her news, having decided she would much rather tell them in person. Her mother shed joyous tears, her father just beamed. Charlotte felt so blessed to be able to make them so happy, but felt the ever present tinge of regret that they would never know who their grandchild’s father really was, could never share their joy with him also.

They, in turn had some news for her. Alison had been courted for some months by the town’s new young vicar, they were to be married in the new year. Charlotte and Alison spent many hours together over the next week, just walking and talking. Charlotte was introduced to Alison’s fiancé, determined him to be a friendly, genial, happy sort of fellow, they were perfectly matched.

Before Charlotte left Willingden, she made plans with her mother and Alison for them to visit her in Windsor later in the year, it was expected that Charlotte would not travel long distances after the end of the summer.

The Forster family took houses in Brighton in July. Charlotte was very interested to see how it compared with Sanditon, there were obviously more activities in which to partake and more diverse social opportunities, however in her opinion Brighton definitely lacked Sanditon’s innocent charm.

It was a great pleasure for Charlotte to be able to spend time with Lord and Lady Babbington and their new baby twins. As there was no Sidney to draw them to Sanditon, after taking their new offspring to visit Lady Denham, they headed to Brighton for the remainder of the season. Esther relished her time with Charlotte. Her friend’s calm demeanour and skill with the babies was very welcome.

Charlotte heard news of the Parker’s travels from both Esther and Mary Parker. They planned to depart Paris shortly, to sail the Mediterranean to Italy. Sidney was in her thoughts every day, every time the baby moved, every time she mused on potential names, whenever she walked along the beach collecting shells. The strength of her love never wavered.

Lady Worcester and the Prince Regent also spent a large part of the summer in Brighton. Of course, Susan and Charlotte had been corresponding regularly, but they were delighted to be able to catch up in person. One particular afternoon, Charlotte and her sister in law, Annabel, had been invited to Susan’s apartments for an afternoon tea party. There were many ladies sat on the balcony enjoying the view of the sparkling sea, Charlotte felt the heat a little more readily these days so was lazily fanning herself as Susan joined her.

“Charlotte, I am so pleased to see you looking so well my dear. Motherhood certainly agrees with you, you are positively glowing.”

“Thank you, Susan, but I suspect you are mistaking ‘glowing’ for ‘beetroot’,” Charlotte laughed.

“Tell me, is it true that Matthew is preparing to hang up his uniform forever?” Susan asked.

“Yes, he feels now is the right time, he is besotted by the idea of becoming a father and cannot bear the idea of missing anything.”

“I can understand, a very admirable sentiment, although the world will be short one very handsome soldier, those red coats are so attractive don’t you think?” her eyes twinkled as she moved away.

Charlotte smiled as she stood and excused herself from her table, she would find Annabel and request that they depart, these days a chance to rest before dinner was very welcome. She walked in from the balcony, coming upon a group of younger ladies standing behind some large potted palms. As her eyes searched the room for Annabel, she heard one of the ladies say the name Eliza Parker.

Charlotte froze. All her senses became razor sharp. She would not appear to be eavesdropping if she pretended continuing to look around the room. The conversation continued, “The man is an Italian count or some such, no money but castles galore, and extremely handsome I am told.”

“Well, he could not possibly be more handsome than the husband she already has, would I ever find such a man as that!” Giggles ensued, followed by more commentary from the bearer of the gossip.

“Anyway, they say that she is in love with the count, that they are the talk of Paris, that it is an open secret.”

“But what of Mr Parker?”

“Let us hope he returns to England, he may be in want of another wife!” Much laughter ensued as the group moved away.

Charlotte’s heart was beating a thousand beats a minute. Her mind was at a loss, what had she just heard? Was it just idle gossip? Or was there some truth? Eliza in love with another man? She planned to stay in France? Without Sidney? What would that mean for Tom, for Sanditon? For Sidney?

“Charlotte, what is it? You look like you have seen a ghost!” Susan appeared, very concerned.

“Oh Susan, please, may we speak for a moment?”

Susan immediately led Charlotte off to a private library and sat her down. Charlotte related everything she had just heard, but knew before she finished speaking that it was the truth, the look on Susan’s face gave it away.

“Yes, I heard this story some weeks ago. The rumour is that Eliza is pursuing a dalliance with an Italian count who was previously known to her, and that is why they have stayed in Paris instead of touring. It is unclear what the ramifications are for their marriage, but there is more to it, she has been openly criticizing Sidney’s behaviour towards her for months. It seems that she assumed her entrapment of him would result in a happy union, which as we know has not happened. She is obviously as dissatisfied in the relationship as he is. Charlotte, I did not tell you any of this because I do not think it would serve any purpose. Whatever happens to Sidney Parker, you are merely an interested onlooker, especially now when there are such wonderful events occurring in your life. Please do not dwell on this gossip. Sidney will sort his situation out, he does not need, nor would he want, you worrying from afar.”

Charlotte nodded, looking down at her hands. “Yes Susan, you are right, as usual.” Privately though, Charlotte worried a great deal.

Matthew’s summer furlough finished at the end of July and he travelled north from Brighton to rejoin his regiment. Charlotte stayed in Brighton temporarily with George and Annabel and their children, then departed solo for Sanditon where she would spend some weeks with Tom and Mary.

The place that had so altered the course of her life twelve months ago was about to witness a dramatic shift once more.


	11. Chapter 11

Early September

Sidney booked passage on the next ship departing Calais. If he had experienced a more hellish time in his life than the last two months then he could not recall it. Even the despair Eliza caused him ten years ago did not compare with the intense anger, frustration and heartache he had been dealing with lately.

If his sudden departure was to cause more tongues to wag then so be it. He was firmly convinced that should he stay any longer, the lives of both he and his wife were seriously at risk, hers because he would kill her, and his because he would face the gallows for doing so.

It was not really her affair with the Count, the rot had already set in by the time Sidney found out about that, and he cared not at all. He had felt himself backed into a corner very early in their marriage. Eliza obviously knew he needed her money, but had flattered herself that he wanted her also. When the harsh truth emerged (Sidney had always been a poor actor) she felt humiliated, and set about avenging her wounded pride. The result was toxic, and unsustainable. By the end of August, both parties had decided that it would be best if Sidney returned home alone, the reason made public was that there were business matters requiring his attention.

He arrived back in England with the intention of assessing his options regarding dissolution of his marriage on the grounds of Eliza’s adultery. It could be a long, complicated process legally and financially, but he was hopeful and very determined.

Once again, he spent minimal time in London before setting out for Sanditon, he intended to avoid being the current source of gossip in the city by basing himself on the coast for the foreseeable future. Tom and Mary did not know he was coming, nor did Sidney have any idea Charlotte was in residence. His arrival unfortunately was not to be the biggest shock on that day.

Sidney rode into Sanditon in the early afternoon. The day was fine and warm, he was pleased to see groups of people walking to and from the beach, the shops were doing a steady trade and building works were continuing. He felt himself relaxing a little, the scent of the sea had always acted as a tonic for him, he was eager to settle in and go for a refreshing swim.

As he rode towards Tom and Mary’s home, Sidney was very surprised to see Lord George Forster, Matthew’s brother, exit the front door of Trafalgar House and walk along the street towards him. Sidney dismounted and prepared to approach George, but his welcoming smile began to fade at the sight of George’s face. He was ashen, clearly distraught.

“George, my good friend, this is a surprise…what brings you here to Sanditon?”

“Sidney, well met, it is good to see you,” he shook Sidney’s outstretched hand. “I wish it could be under better circumstances.” He sighed heavily, struggled with the words, “I have just travelled from Windsor, it has been my very sad duty to inform Charlotte that Matthew was badly hurt in a training maneuver a few days ago, he was shot, and he … did not survive.”

Sidney was stunned into silence for a few seconds. “George, I am so sorry, my most sincere condolences, how absolutely tragic.” His thoughts whirled, he spoke, “Wait, Charlotte is here?...”

“Yes, she has been staying here for some two weeks. I have just spent the past hour with her, but I will leave her now, Mary will help her pack her things, she will depart for Windsor with me at 4 o’clock.”

“Yes, right, of course.” Sidney badly wanted to ask about Charlotte but decided he would soon see her for himself. “What will you do in the meantime?”

“I need to go and write some letters now so will spend the time at the hotel, please, go to your family. Do not worry about me, it is Charlotte who needs our attention,” George bowed his head and walked slowly away.

Sidney quietly entered the front door of Trafalgar House. The home had an air of solemnity, the front rooms were empty, he could not hear the sound of children. Walking through to the library, he stood in the doorway, Mary was sitting at the table near the window alone, her head propped on one hand.

“Sidney!” she exclaimed, meeting him in the middle of the room she ran into his arms. “Oh, it is so good to see you, I do not know where to begin…”

“Mary,” Sidney stepped back and held her hands, looked at her tear stained face, “Mary, I met George Forster in the street. He told me what happened. I cannot believe it.”

“Oh it is dreadful, too awful, poor, poor Charlotte…”

“Where is she? How is she?” Sidney asked.

“She is upstairs in her room, beginning to put her things together. She wanted to be alone for a bit, I did not want to leave her but she was quite sure. It was a terrible shock for her, she did not speak for an age.” Mary wiped her eyes.

“Mary, I very much want to see her, before she departs for Windsor,” Sidney looked at Mary intently, “ I know it would not be appropriate but… “

“Yes, go upstairs,” Mary interrupted, nodding, “she will want you to.”

Sidney said simply, “Thank you.”

He took the stairs two at a time, knocked softly on Charlotte’s door. She opened it, stood in the frame. She gasped, her eyes wide. “Sidney,” she whispered, “You’re here…”

“Charlotte, I’m so sorry…”She stepped back, motioned him inside and shut the door.

They stood apart, Sidney gazed tenderly at her, her swelling belly, her tired eyes. He moved closer, grasped her hands. A single tear fell on her cheek as she spoke, ”It is just so unfair.”

“He had so much to live for, his life was just beginning really. Why was it cut short? He did nothing to deserve this, he was such a good man, had so much left to give. It’s just not right. His poor mother, she will never recover from this, she so adored him.”

“And what of you?” Sidney asked gently, “How are you?”

“I am very sad. But not for me, not in the way that people will assume, you know that. I imagine I feel the loss of a favourite brother. I will be alright. I will go back to Windsor with George, there will be a funeral to get through, then I will decide what to do. I know George, and his mother, Lady Mary, will wish me to stay in Windsor but I think I want to go back to Willingden and have my baby there, with my mother.”

Sidney was not surprised at her train of thought, he knew Charlotte well enough to expect her practical side to take over, to help her cope with the situation.

“Charlotte, please know that I am here, if you need anything at all. I will be staying in Sanditon for some time.”

“Oh,” Charlotte felt confused, “So it was true? You have left Eliza in France?”

“I, er, yes, that is a long story, not really for today.”

“Yes, of course, I am sorry..” Charlotte looked up at him, drained, exhausted. All the effort of creating and sustaining a fictitious existence was gradually weighing her down. The shock of Matthew’s death, the thought of bringing up a child alone, was suddenly overwhelming. She needed Sidney, more than ever before. “Please, just hold me..”

She felt Sidney’s strong arms immediately gather her up and pull her into his chest. His cheek rested on her hair. Her whole body melded to his, even slightly sideways as it was to accommodate her stomach. She breathed him in, wanted never to leave the embrace, the same feelings, the warmth and safety, the consuming love, the hint of passion, it never changed.

His hands moved up to her head, tilted her face up, his lips found hers in a warm, soft kiss. Then Sidney spoke, “Charlotte, it feels somewhat wrong to mention this now but I may not have an opportunity to speak with you again for some time. I just want you to hear this from me, my marriage is now in name only, and hopefully soon to be annulled. Eliza agrees. What this means for you, for us exactly, I have no idea yet.”

Charlotte nodded slowly.

“What I am saying, what I am asking of you is, can you give me some time? Can you wait for me to sort this through? At least until I know what I’m up against, whether it is feasible? Whether I will ever be in a position to finish the conversation we started a year ago?”

“Yes,” Charlotte said simply, “I would wait for you forever.”

Sidney held her for a long time, cradled her to him, cheek against cheek, eyes closed. “I do not ever want to leave you,” he murmured.

‘Now,’ Charlotte’s mind awoke in a moment of sudden clarity, ‘I will tell him about the baby now’.

“Sidney,” Charlotte hesitated before continuing. “There is something I want to tell you, something I have wanted you to know for a long time but couldn’t tell you until now…”

Charlotte felt Sidney raise his head, he looked searchingly into her eyes, “Yes? What is it?”

A knock sounded, then Mary spoke through the door, “I’m sorry, but Lord Forster will be returning, we should finish packing, Charlotte?”

Charlotte shook her head apologetically at Sidney, stepped away and opened the door, “Of course, Mary, please come in.”


	12. Chapter 12

Charlotte left Windsor to relocate to Willingden by the end of October. It was a difficult parting for everyone, Matthew’s family had become very fond of her. They were still mourning him greatly, Charlotte’s departure only increased the feeling of loss.

Charlotte did feel guilty. Even though she knew they all understood that in the final stages of pregnancy it was natural she should want the help and support of her mother, she also knew that they were hoping she would eventually return to Matthew’s home after the birth of the child. She had inherited his sizeable estate, and there were funds set aside for the baby’s education also although it was her intention not to access them. If the future panned out in the manner of her dreams, her conscience would not allow her to live a lie, and she would not need to in order to protect her baby’s future. She would find a way to reveal the truth of the baby’s parentage, however painful it would be for Matthew’s family. 

Sidney’s last words to her, his request for her to wait for him, ignited a ray of hope within her that she could scarcely believe was possible. She finally allowed herself to have faith that they would eventually be together. It may not be soon, it could be years, but he would be hers to have and to hold, and their child would have the love of both doting parents.

From Mary’s letters, Charlotte had learned that Sidney, as promised, was living most of the time in Sanditon and had moved into one of the newly built terraces. Frustrating as it was, it was simply not possible for Sidney to communicate directly with Charlotte, she instead must rely on Mary, who fortunately was a diligent correspondent.

During November, Charlotte spent much time helping Alison with her wedding preparations, although, like Charlotte, she and her fiancé both desired a simple affair. Alison was also very excited about moving into the vicarage following the nuptials, they had many lengthy discussions about Alison’s plans to redecorate, it had been many years since a woman had resided there.

Charlotte’s mother was very in tune with all her children’s moods, dispositions, current levels of contentment. She had observed in Charlotte a calm, reserved demeanor, an air of patient waiting. At first she assumed it was pending the birth of the baby, but gradually she came to know it was more than that. Charlotte, whilst maintaining the appropriate decorum for a widow still mourning her husband, was not essentially sad. Indeed, she had caused them much more worry when she had come home from her first stay in Sanditon over a year ago. This time she was definitely not lost or at sea, instead seemed to have found something to hold on to, a foundation stone on which to build a future.

Sidney had kept himself busy in Sanditon these last months, it was the only way he could stop himself mounting a horse and riding to Charlotte. He thought of her every second of the day and night, her beautiful face, her mischievous laugh, her warm soft skin. He knew she was safe in Willingden however, hopefully he would have a reason to visit her soon, recent news from his lawyers had been promising.

When not dealing with his marital situation he spent the time immersed in the physical and financial recovery of Sanditon. The summer just gone had been successful by any measure, a large number of the new terraces had been sold, there was interest by a wealthy patron in building a large new hotel, and Lady Denham had donated a large piece of land for the creation of a horse racing track, a potential source of much needed entertainment for visitors.

It was actually feasible that Tom’s vision may be sustainable after all. From Sidney’s point of view, he wished to be able to separate from Eliza without any financial ties. She had contributed a very large sum upon their marriage to save Tom and his family from debtors prison, but Sidney was becoming increasingly confident that Sanditon would be a vastly more attractive proposition to lenders and investors now. His own business interests in Antigua had also flourished in the past year. It was possible he could raise the funds to pay her money back, possible he could begin a new life and never have to think of her again.


	13. Chapter 13

Even though it was early December, Sidney continued to take a bracing dip in the sea every morning. The sting of the icy water was a tonic to him, it momentarily erased all other thoughts in his mind, fired up all his senses, made him feel alive in a way that he never felt going through the motions of his daily existence at present. As he emerged naked from the waves, he invariably thought of Charlotte’s horror as she inadvertently observed him doing the same thing one morning over a year ago, the memory always made him smile.

This morning, he walked back along the foggy streets towards his home after such a swim. As usual he wondered what Charlotte was up to, how she was occupying herself, waiting for her baby to arrive.

A messenger was poised to knock on his door as he approached, instead giving the letter directly to him. Sidney carried it upstairs, sat at the desk in his bedroom, and opened it. He stared at the words on the page for what seemed an age, feeling an enormous weight lift from his shoulders. His lawyers had received confirmation, his marriage to Eliza Parker had been annulled. Eliza’s contacts had considerable influence, she was also apparently in a rush to dissolve their partnership, their joint efforts had succeeded.

He sat back in his chair, took a deep breath, gazed out the window across the rooftops to the sea. The harrowing limbo in which he had been dwelling these last few months had come to an end. Finally, a chance to move forward, to find real happiness. His thoughts turned immediately to Charlotte.

Sidney was fairly certain that she still loved him. But he was also aware that he had caused her great pain before she left Sanditon last August. If he made her an offer now, he knew she would have to be in no doubt of his total commitment in order to accept. She would have a child to think of, he knew she would always put the baby’s welfare before her own.

There was only one way to find out her true feelings on the matter.

Sidney wasted no time. It was the second week in December, he knew Charlotte was due to give birth at any moment, indeed she already could have although he was sure Mary would be among the first to know. He quickly packed a bag, called for his horse to be readied, and wrote a hasty note to be delivered to Tom and Mary explaining his absence.

Charlotte felt very uncomfortable. Her bulk precluded her from moving with ease, suddenly her shoes would not fit, she was being kicked from pillar to post and she was not sleeping well. The December weather that year was particularly cold and miserable. Charlotte had exchanged letters frequently with Matthew’s family, it was agreed that they would delay any visit to Willingden until the New Year, Lady Mary did not fancy a journey through winter storms, even to meet a new grandchild.

Once again, Charlotte awoke in the early hours to a sharp jab in her ribs. “This baby is going to be a prize fighter, that is certain,” she grumbled to herself. The next pain made her open her eyes fully however. A low cramp that moved from her tummy around to her back. It was the third consecutive night that she had awoken in the same manner, both previous occasions the cramps had subsided during the day and amounted to nothing. “Would today be the same?” She wondered crossly, ”Please, little one, come out and meet your mummy!”

She stayed in her warm bed until she knew her family would be up and about. If they found her sitting downstairs by herself they would assume too much, she did not want anyone fussing around her. She knew they all meant well, but having so many in the household could be suffocating at times, especially considering her patience with her own physical state was wearing thin, and her temper was uncharacteristically short.

After a small breakfast and a cup of tea, Charlotte helped her mother make the pastry for some spiced fruit mince tarts, a family favourite at Christmas time. The Heywoods employed help in the kitchen but Mrs Heywood preferred to make these delicacies herself.

“I might venture out for a walk this afternoon, Mother. It looks to be a clear day,” Charlotte mentioned casually. She had heard that exercise could possibly help speed things along. Mrs Heywood, who had noticed Charlotte’s face flinch a few times as they had been working side by side, said, “Well, I would really prefer if you did not go alone. Aggie and Sam in particular look as if they could do with an outing.” She cast a withering look at Charlotte’s young brother and sister, who were loudly arguing over a card game at the other end of the big kitchen table. “Very well,” Charlotte smiled, “We won’t go far, don’t worry.”

After lunch, the threesome donned their warmest coats and boots and set off. Charlotte’s pace was obviously slow, the children cavorted around her, occasionally scampering off on a tangent, but both heeded their mother’s strict instruction to stay within sight and hearing of their sister.

The sky was a clear blue, the bad weather had eased, it was a lovely day. Charlotte’s thoughts strayed to Sidney, she wondered where he was, what he was doing. Every day she came up with a different way to tell him he was a father, she wondered when she would actually get the chance.

The little group had reached the bridge leading into the village of Willingden itself. Charlotte’s initial plan was to turn around and head home at this point, but the children pleaded with her to let them show her the whereabouts of an eagles nest they had discovered in the bare branches of a deciduous tree in the nearby woods.

Charlotte’s mild pains had continued throughout the morning, they had not subsided yet, if anything were a little more frequent, but she was not concerned. From her experience watching her mother in the later stages of pregnancy, she knew proceedings could take days.

They took the fork in the road near the bridge, Charlotte managed to clamber gingerly over the low stile and follow her siblings into the woods. The oak tree was further in than they thought. Once they found it, Sam and Aggie were keen to climb up to the nest to show her their tree scaling prowess so Charlotte agreed. She was very familiar with her surroundings as she had played there often in her childhood, but began to get a little anxious as a definite pain coursed around her middle, her stomach noticeably tightening.

“It is time we made our way back, Sam, Aggie,” she called. The children waved to her and began their slow descent. A strong cramp ripped through her, Charlotte doubled over, clutching her stomach with a low moan. As the children reached the ground, they were shocked to see their sister grimacing in pain.

“Sam,” Charlotte said as calmly as she could, placing a reassuring hand on his shoulder, “You must run home. Find Father, tell him to bring the cart to the bridge. Aggie and I will walk out and meet you. I do not think I can walk all the way home.”

His eyes as big as saucers, Sam nodded and took off as fast as his twelve year old legs would carry him. He knew Charlotte was trying to stay calm for he and his sister, but he felt a rising sense of panic, if he and Aggie had not led her into the woods she would probably be back at home safely by now. He climbed over the stile and and pelted straight out into the road.

“Woah, young man,” Sidney called, as his horse reared and shied away from the tearaway boy. “Watch yourself!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” Sam had stopped in his tracks. “I am running for help, I must go.”

“Where are you headed?” Sidney asked, concerned, the boy was obviously distressed.

“The Heywood farm,” he answered. “It’s my sister, I must get my father..” he made to run again.

“Wait, wait!” Sidney said. “I can help you, where is your sister?”

“She’s in the woods, there is a trail,” Sam pointed to the stile,”just follow it in, they are both in there so call out for Charlotte or Aggie, I have to go!” Sam sprinted off down the road.

Sidney’s mind reeled, why on earth was Charlotte in the woods? He quickly dismounted, looped the horses reins over the fence, jumped the stile and ran into the woods from where Sam had emerged. The trail was easy to follow but he had no idea how far in they were.

“Charlotte!” he called. “Here!” he heard a faint response from a child’s voice.

He rounded a bend and saw them. Charlotte was leaning against a tree, her sister clutching her other arm.

Charlotte looked up as he approached, her expression incredulous, “Oh, Sidney,” she said breathlessly. “What? How?”

“I met your brother on the road, he told me, he has gone on to get your father,” Sidney’s arms raised palms up towards her but he was unsure what to do.

“This is Aggie,” said Charlotte, nodding towards the petrified little girl beside her, “she has been doing a wonderful job, we have made it a little way haven’t we, dear?” her last words were followed by a low moan as Charlotte closed her eyes and leaned against the tree.

“Hello Aggie, my name is Sidney and I am a friend of Charlotte’s from Sanditon.” Sidney kneeled down in front of her and smiled, speaking in what he hoped was a calm voice, he said “You have done a magnificent job, Charlotte will be just fine.”

“We need to get to the stile,” Charlotte said haltingly, “Father will meet us with the cart. Aggie dear can you please wait at the bridge, so you can tell father that we are coming?”

Aggie nodded and darted off like a scared rabbit.

Charlotte watched Sidney rise from his knees, she could scarcely believe her eyes, but the questions would have to wait.

“Sidney, my water, it has just broken, everything is happening too fast..” her last word came out as a sob, Charlotte had held her nerve for the children but now she was truly worried.

“Hush, it will be alright,” Sidney gathered her into his arms, kissed the top of her head, held her tightly. “Lean on me, we can stop if we need to, it is not far, we will get there.”

Their progress was very slow. Sidney knew he could not carry her in any manner that would be tolerable for her, so they walked very slowly in between contractions. Each pain was gradually worse, she had to stop, standing in a stooped fashion, leaning her head on his chest, grabbing hold of his arms.

For Sidney it was excruciating, watching the woman he loved in such agony, he had no knowledge of childbirth but even in his naivete he was aware that things were reaching a crucial stage.

They were in sight of the stile, and Aggie, Charlotte’s groans had become louder with each breath. All at once she sank to her knees and leaned forward, her hands on Sidney’s shoulders as he knelt in front of her. She was silent, concentration etched on her face.

“Sidney,” her breath came back in a gasp and she looked at him intensely as he took her hands. “Here. Now.”

The wagon pulled up as Charlotte dropped on to all fours and hung her head with a groan. Mr and Mrs Heywood jumped down and climbed the stile. Mr Heywood picked Aggie up and hugged her as he took her back to the wagon.

Mrs Heywood approached Charlotte and knelt by her side, placing a hand on the small of her back. “Charlotte, darling, I’m here, all will be well”.

She looked up at Sidney’s worried face. “Mr Sidney Parker I presume?”

“Yes, madam, it is honour to meet you. I –“

“We can deal with the pleasantries later,” Mrs Heywood said, giving him a reassuring smile. “Now, would you be so kind as to bring me the basket from the wagon? I don’t think we have time to go home. And then perhaps keep Mr Heywood and Aggie company? Charlotte and I will be busy for a little while.”

Sidney nodded, retrieved the basket and set it down near Charlotte. He knelt down once again, reached forward and smoothed back her hair. Charlotte gave him a watery smile, then he retreated back to the wagon.

Sam had returned to the bridge with his parents and had then been instructed to run into the village for the midwife who had arrived in a very short time, Charlotte was in very good hands.

Sidney was pacing and smoking, he and Mr Heywood had said little beyond some cursory introductions, both too preoccupied with the events that were unfolding. They did not have long to wait before the sound of a baby’s lusty cry reverberated in the winter air as Charlotte’s son took his first breaths. Little did Mr Heywood know that the hand he shook so enthusiastically belonged to the father of his first grandchild.

Sidney rode behind the wagon back to Charlotte’s home, it was approaching darkness as they arrived. He was still reasonably shaken up, his visit certainly had not gone to plan. He was placed in a corner with a big glass of whisky as the rest of the household bustled around him. His presence had not yet even been questioned.

A meal was prepared and eaten. The family were ushered upstairs in small groups to visit the new addition. Finally, Mrs Heywood appeared and walked over to Sidney. “Mr Parker, it is a pleasure to meet you,” she looked tired but very happy. It appeared to Sidney that Charlotte had given her parents some knowledge of their relationship. “Mr Heywood and I are both glad you were there with her today. If you like you can go up to Charlotte now, she is asking for you.”

“Thank you,” he said simply. There was so much to say yet he did not have the words today.

Sidney knocked softly on the half open door to which he had been led by Aggie. Charlotte’s voice welcomed him in.

“Sidney, I cannot believe you were here today, of all days, thank you so much.” Charlotte was sitting up in her bed, cradling the baby, her hair brushed back, a broad smile on her face. She was glowing, her beauty amplified by the joy in her eyes.

Sidney just looked at both of them, wonder and amazement on his face. He was speechless, at the enormity of the events, at Charlotte’s strength and will, he felt he had witnessed a miracle.

“Come, sit with us,” Charlotte motioned to the bed beside her. When her sat, she placed her hand on his and just beamed, tears sparkling in her eyes.

Charlotte’s heart was beating fast, her breath felt shallow, “Sidney, this is William James,” she looked deep into Sidney’s beautiful dark eyes. “Your son.”

Charlotte watched his expression closely, it took a moment for comprehension to spread across his face, his eyes widened as he looked to her for confirmation. She nodded, “I am completely sure. Anyway, just look at him, he is the image of you,” she said softly.

“Oh my God,” Sidney suppressed a sob, looked into her eyes, tears rolled down his face, he leaned forward, put one hand on Charlotte’s cheek, the other hand gently drawing back the blanket to see his son’s face more clearly.

“Charlotte, words are not enough. I cannot express…. I love you, with everything I am, both of you,” he took her face in both hands and gently kissed her lips. He gazed straight into her eyes, “I came here today to tell you, my marriage to Eliza has been annulled. I am free. I am yours, if you want me. Please, please, do me the honour of becoming my wife?”

Charlotte’s tears flowed freely. “Yes. Yes.”

William James cooed softly as both his parents gazed down at him in adoration.


	14. Chapter 14

Mid December

Sidney Parker spent one more day with his brand new baby. For the most part he sat quietly in an armchair in the corner of Charlotte’s room, revelling in her company, and the chance to hold William while mother and son both slept. Sidney marvelled at how small yet perfectly formed he was, how his tiny hand could barely clutch the breadth of his finger. The strength of the love Sidney felt for this little creature was overwhelming, a primal urge to nurture and protect such that he had never felt before.

Mrs Heywood and the children all popped their heads in at intervals throughout the day, bringing food or tea, taking the chance to peek again at Williams’ angelic face. Everyone treated Sidney’s presence as if it were normal. As if his important role in Charlotte’s eventful confinement the day prior entitled him to a privileged position that Charlotte herself clearly desired.

Sidney had spent the night in one of the boys’ bedrooms, conscious that all the boys had therefore been relegated to the one room. He heard William’s cry in the early hours, mused that such a sound would probably not wake anyone else given how in such a large family they were all accustomed to life with small babies.

He could still hardly believe everything that had transpired in the last day, that the woman he loved more than life had actually given birth to his child. He was a father. He must do everything he could to pave the way for a secure, happy life for William and Charlotte.

Sidney obviously stepped out while the baby fed. On one such occasion he felt it proper that he should seek Mr Heywood’s express approval, both on account of his current presence at such a special time for the family, and of his future plans.

He found him in his study, perusing some ledgers. Upon hearing Sidney’s knock on the open door, Mr Heywood peered over the top of his glasses and smiled, asking him to close the door behind him and sit on the chair in front of his desk.

“Mr Parker, I have been waiting for the chance to speak with you privately.” Mr Heywood closed the ledger and laced his fingers on top, “I would like to properly thank you, on behalf of Mrs Heywood and myself, for the assistance you gave Charlotte yesterday. Obviously, we are over the moon that, partly due to yourself, it all ended well and our daughter and grandson are both in excellent health.”

Sidney began to shake his head in modest protest but was silenced as Mr Heywood continued. “However, I must admit that when I heard your reason for being in Willingden, that is, you were in the area and intended a brief visit to ascertain Charlotte’s health to be able to give a report to Mrs Mary Parker, I thought it a rather flimsy excuse,” he chuckled, “No one like you would ever have cause to be “in the area” of Willingden, Mr Parker.”

“Ah, yes, well… call me Sidney, please,” Sidney cleared his throat and shifted in his chair.

“Let me make it a little easier by telling you what I already know,” Mr Heywood removed his glasses and sat back. “I know from a reliable source, namely our daughter Alison, that Charlotte formed an attachment to you in Sanditon, the summer before last. An attachment that proved to be in vain, for whatever reason, and that caused her much distress at the time. I understand that circumstances have now changed considerably for both you and she, and that may account for your presence here.”

“Let me be clear, I view the welfare of all my children as having the utmost importance. I know Charlotte is twenty four years old now, hardly a child, quite financially independent and well able to legally make her own decisions, but if anything that makes me all the more determined to ensure that she is not taken advantage of, or hurt again, by anyone.”

“I apologise if I am pre-empting you, Sidney, but I am aware that your visit will most likely be brief and Mrs Heywood and I both feel that these words need to be said.”

Sidney nodded slowly, gathered his thoughts. Mr Heywood was clearly a person who respected honesty, Sidney decided to be as plain as he could. His words were quiet, his sincerity was openly displayed.

“Sir, I love your daughter, I have done so for many months. All I would like to say about our initial parting is that I felt Charlotte’s pain a hundredfold. You are right, my circumstances have changed recently, I can now tell you that my previous marriage has been annulled. That, in fact, is why I travelled to Sanditon yesterday, to tell Charlotte. There are details still to be worked out, a financial settlement being the most important, which I hope can occur without delay. With your permission, Sir, we very much wish then to be married.”

“Sidney, as I said, Charlotte is of an age where she can make her own decisions, but I do appreciate your regard for my opinion on the matter. I know I can speak for Mrs Heywood when I say you have our blessing, it is very apparent to us that Charlotte does not want to be with anyone else.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Sidney said. “That will mean so much to Charlotte, and therefore to me.”

“May I add one request, however,” Mr Heywood said. “That you keep these plans to yourselves for the time being. I will of course relay the details of our conversation to my wife, and I expect that Charlotte will most likely confide in Alison, but Mrs Heywood and I are very conscious of how the news may impact Matthew’s family were they to find out by indirect means. It is, after all, only some three months since his sad passing, we feel that a longer interval before they are informed would be more appropriate.”

“Of course, I totally understand, you have my word, we will be discreet.” Sidney chose his words carefully, he was not inclined to make any specific promises to delay proceedings. In truth, the only reason he felt it necessary to keep their engagement a secret, was to prevent Eliza discovering their plans. Should she discover the truth before the ink was dry on their financial agreement, Sidney was concerned a last minute fit of jealousy and spite could derail the whole process.

“I do not know how long Charlotte will be staying with us, but you are welcome to visit her here at any time.” Mr Heywood pushed his chair back and stood. Sidney rose also, and firmly grasped the hand that was offered him. He took a deep breath, a sudden feeling of joy, one of many in the last twenty four hours, overcame him, he smiled, “Thank you very much.”

Back in Charlotte’s room a little later, Sidney realised that opportunities to talk privately to her, to discuss the way forward, would be limited. He had to return to Sanditon the next day, he knew there would be papers to deal with relating to the annulment of his marriage and to the direction of his financial future. He had related his conversation with Mr Heywood to her, and was very keen to ensure that Charlotte was secure in the knowledge that he was working as hard as he could so they could marry as soon as possible.

Mrs Heywood had just departed after delivering them some tea and announcing that one of the boys would be up in half an hour with some more firewood.

Sidney gently placed William back in his cradle and handed Charlotte a steaming cup.

“I am still in awe you know,” he said with a smile, standing with his back to the fire. “He is just perfect, one can only hope he has inherited your skill at cricket, not mine.”

“I am sure that William will be well able to hold his own when he plays with his Parker cousins, although if young Henry wields a bat like he does a sword it could be interesting,” Charlotte laughed.

“Charlotte,” Sidney’s tone grew more serious. “Much as I hate to, I have to return to Sanditon tomorrow. If I could marry you right now you know I would, but there are a few things to take care of first, not least of which is to ensure I am secure in my financial independence.”

“Oh, so soon?” Charlotte said, sounding bewildered. “Tomorrow? But, you’ve only just arrived, I thought…”

Sidney swiftly moved to sit on the bed and grasped her hands tightly. “I would rather be with you and William than anywhere else in the world. Please believe me, I am only going now so that I can get everything settled more quickly. I need to get certain wheels in motion before Christmas or else it will all just take longer. Do you see?”

Charlotte nodded, she tried to speak, but was suddenly overcome with tiredness and emotion. Her face crumpled, Sidney gathered her up in his arms as she sobbed, he stroked her hair and just held her.

Slowly her tears subsided, she relaxed against his chest. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed, taking a deep, shuddering breath. “I do not know where that came from, I know you have to go, do not worry.”

She sat back against her pillows and gave him a watery smile. “When will you come back?”

Sidney reached out and touched her damp cheek, “As soon as I can. Christmas time I imagine. After that I shall have to go to London, to see lawyers and bankers. I will be darkening their door every day until matters are resolved, they will want to act in haste just to be rid of me.”

“I will have to make some plans also.” Charlotte looked over at her sleeping son. “I expect to go to Windsor perhaps by the end of January, Lady Mary is still unwell, she will not be travelling for some time and will desperately want to see William. Obviously, I will not tell the Forsters anything yet, although how we will eventually tell everyone the truth about William, I have no idea.”

A knock sounded at the door, two of Charlotte’s brothers entered with the promised firewood, and informed Sidney that the evening meal would be served in half an hour.

Charlotte descended the stairs to farewell Sidney the following morning, she was quite well and had decided there was absolutely no need for her to lay in bed any longer. The family were sat at the dining table for breakfast, Sidney cradled his son in his arms while Charlotte ate.

Donning her coat, Charlotte followed Sidney out to the stables. Sam had done a fine job of seeing to Sidney’s horse, he was saddled ready to depart.

Mrs Heywood had ensured that none of the younger children had snuck out of the house, so they were quite alone. Sidney turned to her, wordlessly she melted against him, snaked her arms around his neck, met his lips with her own. He held her tight, dreading the thought of being apart once more.


	15. Chapter 15

It was Christmas Eve, Charlotte had spent the morning helping with an assortment of last minute preparations, she was glad to be busy, glad to have the distraction. In vain, she had been waiting for a letter from Sidney explaining when he would next come to Willingden. He was not a diligent correspondent, the infrequent notes were always written in a hurried fashion, his bold black scrawl containing only the briefest of updates, an enquiry of Charlotte and William’s wellbeing and a hasty ‘Forever Yours, Sidney’. Although he had made no guarantees, Charlotte was secretly hoping he would surprise her by arriving in person today.

A note did arrive at midday, but from Windsor. It was from Lady Annabel, Matthew’s sister in law, and it did not contain good news. Matthew’s mother, Lady Mary, was gravely ill, the doctors did not give her longer than three months to live. Her dying wish was to see her new grandson, it would mean everything to the family if Charlotte could possibly travel to Windsor as soon as possible. The Forsters would send their carriage for her, to be driven by Roberts, a groom Charlotte knew well. They would send Sarah, Charlotte’s maid, to accompany her and William on the return journey. Charlotte merely had to provide them with a date, only a few days’ notice would be necessary for preparations to be made.

Charlotte folded the letter and stared out the window. She was not surprised at its contents, only that it had arrived so soon. She was not expecting to make a journey to Windsor for another month at least.

Over the last two weeks, Charlotte had felt she was treading a very narrow path. One missing stone, one wrong step and the it would crumble beneath her feet. She could not marry Sidney, or discuss this prospect with anyone except her parents and older siblings, until his financial affairs were in order. Now, even when this was achieved, Lady Mary’s ill health precluded any announcements being made until she sadly had passed, an event that could be months away.

Charlotte was firm in the view that it would be unnecessarily cruel to burden Lady Mary with any of this in her last days, far better that her last thoughts of Matthew related to him being happy in the knowledge he was to be a father. The truth about William’s parentage could not be declared until after Sidney and Charlotte were married, in any case.

Charlotte was more than a little anxious about how Sidney would approach this turn of events. She knew he was naturally impatient, he was usually not averse to setting a course of action that would achieve his aims as fast as possible, even if it meant causing some collateral damage.

Her fears were well founded.

Sidney did not arrive in Willingden until late on New Years Day. Terrible weather had delayed his journey, despite his deep frustration at not being able to see Charlotte it would have been suicidal to attempt it, visibility was virtually non-existent.

When he finally arrived at the Heywood estate he was very tired and freezing cold, much of the journey had been spent riding through persistent rain. He longed to just collapse in a chair by the fire holding Charlotte in his lap, but instead, he was relegated to the boys’ bedroom once again, awaiting a hot bath to be prepared.

Charlotte approached the open door, fresh towels in her arms. Sidney was sitting on the bed, jacket off, struggling to remove his wet boots.

“Here, let me help,” depositing the towels on a nearby chair, Charlotte reached down, grabbed one foot and then the other, making short work of the task.

“Thank you,” Sidney said, enjoying the sight of her soft curls shining in the candlelight as her head bent down in front of him. Then he yawned loudly. “Sorry, I am done in.” He glanced over at the steaming bath, then slyly back at Charlotte. “I might need help taking off the rest of my clothes too.”

Charlotte let out a shocked squeak, she needed to leave before things became out of hand. As she walked to the door she looked back over her shoulder, Sidney was leaning back on the bed, his broad chest visible through his open shirt, he raised an eyebrow and grinned. Charlotte tried in vain to suppress the heat rising in her face, then spoke in a prim tone, “I have undressed and bathed little boys many times, Sidney Parker, but the naughty ones are just dunked in the horse trough, a bit cool outside for that, is it not?”

She heard Sidney’s laughter as she walked towards the stairs.

It was not until a few days later that the weather finally cleared. To Charlotte’s relief, she and Sidney could at last escape the house and speak in private. Although he did his best to maintain an even temper and not betray his irritation, Sidney did not really cope well as a houseguest in any situation, let alone when he was cooped up indoors constantly surrounded by others.

They left William sleeping soundly and set off for a morning walk into the village. Sidney began the conversation by telling Charlotte of his recent endeavours. The annulment was settled. Eliza’s lawyer had forwarded confirmation that she would not immediately seek recompense for monies she had paid to finance Sanditon’s developments, some eighty thousand pounds. Instead, Sidney had agreed to repay a lump sum from his own funds, the remainder being repaid when external finance could be arranged. Sidney had refused to use any of Charlotte’s inheritance from Matthew’s estate, he vehemently rejected her offer as soon as she made it.

“So, my current task is to put together all the paperwork necessary to persuade the banks that Sanditon is a very worthwhile investment after all. I am expecting to have an answer on this by the end of the month.” Sidney smiled down at Charlotte, “And then, my love, I can finally make you my wife.”

“There is nothing I want more in the world, I hope you know that…” Charlotte said a little hesitantly.

Sidney’s smile faded, he raised an eyebrow, “I sense an impending objection.”

“No! Of course, no, definitely no objections…but, there is more to consider.”

She spoke honestly, of the contents of Lady Annabel’s letter, and of her own conviction that it would be cruel in the extreme to Lady Mary to reveal any of the truths she and Sidney were currently hiding.

Sidney stayed silent for a moment, looked away into the distance, as if weighing up her words. They had stopped walking and were standing on the centre of the bridge, the fast flowing river swirled beneath them. Charlotte watched, dismayed, at the tension building in his body as he placed both hands on the railing and gripped it tightly. His chiselled profile looked to be cast in stone.

He spoke slowly and clearly, still without looking at her, staring instead down at the water. “Therefore, you are telling me we must wait now, for an indeterminate period of time. I am currently spending every waking hour writing letters, poring over documents, deciphering legal jargon, devising dubious ways to create a more favourable picture of Sanditon’s prospects for my bankers, all so I can finally marry you. So we can finally live in the same place, the three of us, and I do not have to ride for hours through blizzards, risking life and limb to snatch a few private moments with you.”

Sidney turned his head to Charlotte, the full force of his anger and frustration now focussed on her. He almost snarled, “And now it appears that my efforts have been in vain. That the feelings of an old woman that you have known for only a year are more important to you than our future.”

Charlotte had been the source of Sidney’s ire before, she knew that once ignited, his anger was quick to blaze out of control. Eyes snapping, he lifted then slammed his hands back down onto the railing before turning to face her.

Charlotte flinched, her face turned white, her tearfilled eyes were enormous. “Sidney, please understand …”

“Oh, I understand alright.” Sidney towered over her, “Are you sure this is not just to ease your own conscience? Are you ashamed of what we have done? Because I am not.”

Charlotte gasped, horrified. She reached out a hand to him, her eyes pleading for calm, “Of course not, Sidney, I cannot describe the happiness I felt when I knew I was carrying your child, how can you ask me that?”

Sidney stepped back out of her reach, hands clenched, every fibre of his being struggling to control his emotions.

His voice was ominously quiet, “Charlotte, I cannot yet even give my own son my name, his rightful name, and you want me to just stand aside. Very well, you shall have your wish. Travel safely, I will leave you now so you can make the necessary arrangements.”

Sidney strode off, back towards the Heywood farm, to saddle his horse and take his leave.


	16. Chapter 16

Sidney spent only a few days in Sanditon in order to arrange his departure for the Parker’s London home. Tom and Mary were already in residence there, Tom would accompany Sidney on his quest to source external funding for Sanditon, his boundless enthusiasm for the project had never wavered.

Mary knew something was amiss the minute Sidney entered the front door of the house. She alone was the only person Sidney had told of his engagement to Charlotte, although her suspicion that Sidney was also William’s father remained just that. He gave nothing away in that regard.

The spring in his step, the joy in his voice, the light in his eyes that had been present ever since he had first come back from Willingden, were all gone. His handsome face was drawn, reflected a lack of any meaningful sleep. In the company of Tom and the children she could not raise her concerns, her questioning eyes merely followed him around the room.

Before the family retired to bed that night, Sidney spoke quietly to her. “Mary, please do not worry yourself, everything will be alright. I can see your questions, they are written on your face, please do not ask them. There has been a setback, for Charlotte, involving Matthew’s family, it means a delay for us. That is all.”

Mary nodded. “If you say so, Sidney. Please, I am here if you ever need to talk.”

“I know, Mary.” Sidney reached down and kissed her on the cheek. “But don’t be waiting up for me tonight, I intend to drown my sorrows with Babbington.”

As the night wore on, Lord Babbington gradually pieced together the whole picture. With each successive brandy, Sidney revealed more of the events of the preceding months. By the time he reached the story of the argument with which his last visit with Charlotte had ended, he was visibly distressed. His large frame was draped on the table, his hands holding his head.

Babbington, having had his own, albeit smaller, share of the brandy bottle, took a moment to register Sidney’s last words.

“Wait, you said, ‘give my son my name’? Does this mean what I think it means? That you are William’s father?”

Sidney raised his head, took a deep breath, and said simply, “Yes. And now Charlotte will take him to Windsor, where he will be coddled and adored by Matthew’s family, she will feel increasingly guilty about deceiving them, and God knows where it will all lead. She most likely hates me anyway, I lost my temper with her Babbers, I shouted at her, left her standing there in the road, crying…” Sidney groaned and laid his head back down on his hands, tortured by the memory of Charlotte’s tearstained face, longing to hold her once again.

Sidney and Babbington occupied a corner table in their bar of choice, not too exclusive, not too seedy. Both had failed to realise that the man at the table next to them had not moved the entire time they had been seated, had only leaned back as if to better hear their words. As Sidney and Babbington rose to leave, Sidney lurched to one side, clumsily placing a hand on the back of their neighbour’s chair. The man turned instinctively and looked up at him, briefly, but for enough time that Sidney felt a jolt of recognition, an association with something that instantly made him feel uneasy.

Babbington however had no such reaction, he was preoccupied with getting Sidney home safely. As they moved out into the street they did not see their neighbour exit the bar also, hailing a cab with urgency and racing off into the night, his destination – the home of his employer, Mr Howard.


	17. Chapter 17

As Charlotte watched Sidney stride across the bridge away from her, she knew that any attempt to placate him now would be useless. She decided not to follow him home, her heart ached with the thought of parting this way, but she did not want to elicit more harsh words from him. His anger could cast a very cold shadow.

Charlotte walked into her mother’s cosy kitchen an hour later. She had bided her time sitting quietly in the village church. The vicar, her prospective brother in law, John Robertson, had greeted her warmly, but being a perceptive fellow had left Charlotte to her thoughts.

She went upstairs, found her mother and Alison sitting in her bedroom, Mrs Heywood was cradling William.

“Just in time, Charlotte, Master William is hungry.” Smiling, she handed the baby to his mother.

“Thank you.” Charlotte settled herself on her bed, as she placed William at her breast and looked down at his dear little face, so like his father, the tears began to flow down her cheeks.

Alison and Mrs Heywood listened sympathetically as Charlotte outlined the reason for Sidney’s sudden departure, and consequently her sad demeanour. It was difficult not to paint Sidney in a negative light, she had no wish to make her family think badly of him, but without knowing the full story, they inevitably would.

Charlotte suddenly made the momentous decision to tell them the truth. For them to really understand Sidney’s torment, and therefore his actions, they had to know the full story. She sat her son upright, as she started to rub his back she looked squarely at her mother and sister and said, “Sidney is William’s father.”

To Charlotte’s amazement, they both just nodded, then Mrs Heywood said, “My dear, we know.”

Charlotte’s mouth fell open in complete surprise.

Mrs Heywood smiled gently. “Of course, we had no idea until the day of his birth. But there is no mistaking the love of a father for his children, and Sidney was instantly besotted. Not to mention the fact that William is the image of him. Do not worry,” she continued, “It is only your father, Alison and myself who know, no one else is any the wiser. And I should also say that you have no need to fear any judgment from us. You are a most beloved daughter, Charlotte, you are not a child, and we know that the decisions you have made, and will continue to make, are the right ones, for you and for those you love.”

“It is unfortunate that Sidney has left you in this way, I can see that he is a man whose passions run deep and they drive him to do and say things he may later regret, but I am not telling you anything you do not already know. All will be well eventually. You are doing the right thing in going to Windsor for Lady Mary’s sake, I know her family will be grateful to you, even when they find out the truth.”

Charlotte laid her head on a pillow in Windsor for the first time in four months. She was exhausted, the journey had taken two full days and William did not travel well, he would only sleep whilst in his mother’s arms.

She had arrived very late in the afternoon. The Forsters had decided that it would be much better for everyone if Charlotte was accommodated in the great house rather than the much smaller house she had shared with Matthew, a decision that Charlotte welcomed. She had no desire to be burdened with the management of her own household, her intention was to create as little fuss and attract as little attention as possible. Her purpose was singular, to give Lady Mary the comfort of spending some time with the baby she thought was her grandchild.

The Forster’s had been unable to secure the services of an experienced nurse at short notice. Charlotte protested that it was not necessary, she had managed perfectly well for a month without one, but to compensate, Sarah, Charlotte’s maid, was temporarily elevated to the position, and a replacement maid was sought.

Charlotte lay in bed that first night, exhausted but unable to stop her thoughts whirling in her head. She had insisted that William remain in her bedroom, indeed she would not have been able to sleep without him, so used was she to his little noises and movements.

Her heart ached for Sidney. Even though their parting was acrimonious, he had said things which hurt her, she was not angry nor disappointed. Over the time of their relationship she had come to realise that he gave his love and loyalty so rarely, but when he did it was absolute, the depth of his devotion was endless. He saw her determination to appease Matthew’s family as a barrier to their happiness, but she knew his temper would soon abate. It had to be this way, she just needed to give him some time.

Charlotte introduced William to Lady Mary the next day. Her Ladyship was confined to her bed, but she was sitting up and able to hold him. It was a heartwarming sight, a veil of peace settled over her face.

She gazed at him for an age, then looked up at Charlotte and spoke with much effort. Charlotte stepped closer to the bed, Lady Mary’s thin, reedy voice was barely audible, “Thank you, my dear. You brought Matthew so much joy, I know he would only want every happiness for your future, for William’s future. Please, in case I do not have this chance to speak plainly again, you are so young, promise me you will live your life to its fullest. Do it with the knowledge that my darling son would want you to. And know that we are always here for you both.”

Charlotte tried in vain to stop a tear falling as she nodded, and gently lifted her baby back into her arms.

The weeks meandered along, February arrived, slowly the fog of winter showed signs of lifting. Charlotte discovered that she had more free time than she had expected. Sarah was relishing her new role as nurse, and the new maid, Tess, was also very efficient. Tess, in particular, was very good with William, even on her weekly day off she preferred to spend time with him, always keen to regale Charlotte with stories of their little outings together.

Charlotte desperately wished she could write to Sidney, but correspondence between them was not possible. As she was living in the great house, her mail was sent and received by servants, she just could not guarantee her privacy. She compensated by writing regular letters to Mary, assuming that she would keep Sidney up to date with goings on.

It was becoming evident to Charlotte that her visit would shortly come to an end, as Lady Mary was deteriorating by the day. Although the Forsters did not want her to leave, Charlotte much preferred to soon slip away. If she stayed for a funeral and its aftermath, William would be on show for the many visitors and Charlotte just could not maintain the façade to that extent. As things were, her conscience troubled her daily.

She was very excited to receive an invitation to stay with the Parkers in London, Mary’s latest letter had requested that she and William stay with them for as long as she liked before heading back to Willingden. To that end, Charlotte had started preparing to leave Windsor, had discussed it with the Forsters, as well as informing Sarah and Tess.

The thought of seeing Sidney again was overwhelming. She yearned to tell him that she understood, her feelings had not changed, if anything their separation had made her more certain that once they were married she never wanted to be parted from him. She wanted so badly to hold him, reassure him that his trust in her was not misplaced, she wanted him to be her husband, the father of her children, just as much as he did.


	18. Chapter 18

Sidney sat in the morning room, breakfast was finished and he was well engrossed in a new letter from Charlotte. Mary always passed them to him to read as soon as they arrived, she could see his hunger for news, for any indication that Charlotte and William were leaving Windsor.

As he finished reading, Sidney sat back and sighed with relief. Lady Mary was sadly not capable of communicating anymore, Charlotte would be arrive in London in three days time, she was very much looking forward to introducing William to the Parker children. Sidney could hardly think, he had prepared a speech, an apology, but he knew the sight of her would likely make him forget his words. He just needed to hold her, feel her soft skin, her body melding to his, and everything would be alright.

A maid appeared, bobbed a curtsey and handed Sidney a note. It was from Lord Babbington, he requested Sidney attend his home at his earliest convenience, today if possible, there was important news.

Rather than send a reply, Sidney decided to make his way there immediately, his curiosity was piqued and he had no other urgent engagements.

Upon arrival, Sidney was shown into the blue room. He did not have long to wait, was soon joined by Babbington and another gentleman who was carrying a sheaf of papers.

“Sidney, thank you for coming so promptly, I am aware this must all seem somewhat mysterious, but significant events have occurred in the last few days that will affect you.” Babbington gestured to his companion, “May I introduce Mr Dawson, he is a lawyer in charge of Lady Denham’s affairs.”

As the two men exchanged greetings, and everyone then moved to sit around a table near the window, Babbington continued, “I am afraid I have sad news, Lady Denham passed away two days ago.” Sidney uttered the necessary condolences, but was still confused as to why his presence was required.

“Shortly before her death she arranged for a new will to be drawn up. It seems she was impressed by the way Sanditon has progressed in the last year or so and was therefore inclined to view the withdrawal of her financial support in a new light. Mr Dawson, can I prevail upon you to discuss the details?”

“Of course, my Lord.” Mr Dawson placed his glasses on his nose and retrieved one particular document from his files.

“Lady Denham’s estate, as you would be aware Mr Parker, is substantial. I understand she withdrew funding for the development of Sanditon a year and a half ago following some financial mismanagement on the part of your brother, Mr Tom Parker.”

“Ah, unfortunately, yes, that was the case,” Sidney replied.

Mr Dawson nodded. “That is the reason that the monies now bequeathed in her most recent will for the development of Sanditon shall be paid to you, Mr Parker, and not your brother.”

Sidney was stunned, money? From Lady Denham?

Mr Dawson continued, referring to the papers in front of him. “A sum of fifty thousand pounds is to be transferred to you. It is unencumbered, you may spend it as you wish.”

Mr Dawson looked up, removed his glasses and addressed Sidney directly. “Mr Parker, Lady Denham had numerous private conversations with me before she died. If I may be frank, she was well aware that you had shouldered much of the responsibility for addressing the dire financial situation in which your family found itself, and she was also well aware of the means by which you addressed it. The funds are unencumbered for that reason, that is, they may be used to repay your debts if you so wish.”

An astonished Sidney was then required to sign some papers, then with a shake of his hand, Mr Dawson exited the house, leaving Sidney and Babbington alone.

“I cannot believe it.” Sidney ran a hand through his hair, his mind racing. “What on earth possessed Lady Denham to do this? How did she know about my situation? And why did she care about it to this extent? I could understand it if the funds were to be directly invested in Sanditon, I would not give Tom fifty thousand pounds either, but… to give it to me, to effectively give me express permission to use it to repay Eliza, I cannot comprehend… ”

“Well, Lady D was a nosy old bag, I think she gained her knowledge of your recent trials by interrogating Esther. And, no disrespect intended my old friend, but I do not believe it was your future she was endeavouring to protect.” Babbington laid a hand on Sidney’s shoulder.

“It was Charlotte’s.”

After a restorative brandy, Sidney left the Babbington’s residence to return home. His mind was still reeling. He was free, to cut all remaining ties with Eliza, to marry Charlotte. He felt the weight lifting from his shoulders with every step, by the time he reached the front door of the Parker house he realised he had not looked forward to the future so much in his entire life.

“Sidney!” Mary called him from the library, “Please, come quickly!”

Her tone was panicked. Sidney arrived at the library door to see the maid, Martha, standing before them, ashen faced.

“Martha has just told me a story, Sidney, I do not quite understand it, but she said you would likely know what she means. Go on, Martha, tell Mr Parker what you just told me.”

“Well, Mr Parker, sir, it was my sister who told me, she knows I work here and she told me so I could tell you. But she does not want to get into trouble, sir, she could lose her position, it’s just, she thought you should know, for the poor baby’s sake…”

“Martha, start at the beginning, you are not making any sense.” Sidney frowned at her, a sudden chill ran up his spine.

“Sorry, sir.” Martha took a deep breath and started again, “My sister, Polly, works at Mrs Harries’ establishment, in the kitchen though, sir.” Martha saw Mary’s blank look and said, “It’s alright Mrs Parker, Mr Parker knows of the place…”

Sidney cleared his throat, “Ahem, yes, Martha, go on.”

“Polly is friends with the other girls. One of them, Katie, told her a story last week. Another girl, Tess, is a favourite of Mr Howard’s, and Tess had been giving herself airs about leaving Mrs Harries’ to do a special job for him. A job where she was to be a maid in a big house, and if she got close enough, she was to steal a baby and give it to another man and if she did this Mr Howard would give her enough money so she would never have to work at Mrs Harries’ ever again.”

Sidney’s heart was thumping, “Why are you telling us this? What else do you know?”

Martha’s face was white, her voice tremulous, “Sir, she was to go to Windsor, the name Parker was mentioned, and … the baby’s mother’s name is Charlotte…”

Sidney’s blood ran cold. “When? When did this girl go to Windsor?” He grabbed Martha’s arm.

“I don’t know, sir,” Martha was sobbing now, “I think not more than two or three weeks ago..”

Sidney let Martha go, turned to Mary who was standing near with one hand over her mouth, aghast.

He looked directly into Mary’s eyes, an unspoken acknowledgement that he wanted her to know the truth in his next words, “If that man lays a hand on my son I will kill him. Please, write a note for Charlotte, tell her what is happening, send it by the fastest messenger you can find. Hopefully, I will arrive first.”

Sidney raced out to the stables, but not before he retrieved his pistol from the cabinet in his room.


	19. Chapter 19

Sidney raced through the streets of London on his way out of the city. Luckily the weather was fine, he should make good time but he knew that at this time of the year there would not be enough daylight to make Windsor today, he would be required to rest overnight and begin again at dawn.

Howard! However this plan had been devised, it was clear that William was the target, to be kidnapped and held for ransom. Sidney knew Howard had outlaid a significant sum to pay for Georgiana almost two years previously, he had been furious that his plan to marry her in Scotland had been foiled by Sidney at the last minute. No doubt he held Sidney responsible for this financial loss, had obviously been biding his time to find a way of recouping the money.

But how did he know that Sidney was connected to William? A little detective work could have led him to the conclusion that Sidney held Charlotte in fond regard, but what would lead him to believe William was so important, even that William was Sidney’s son?

In any event, if this girl, Tess, had gone to Windsor with instructions to kidnap William, she must know now that her time was running out. Charlotte was leaving Windsor in a matter of days, any plan must be carried out this day or the next.

Charlotte was busy supervising preparations to leave Windsor. Sarah was packing William’s things and as Charlotte was intending to sit with Lady Mary for an hour, Tess volunteered to take a slightly fractious William out for a walk in the baby carriage.

Charlotte was hoping that she might catch Lady Mary at a time when she was lucid and able to at least register her presence, but it was apparent after half an hour that this was not the case. Charlotte rose, kissed her on the cheek and left the room. She would walk out and find Tess and William, expecting them to be somewhere in the immediate surrounds of the house.

After searching for some time, Charlotte asked one of the gardeners whether he had seen them, to her surprise he confirmed that yes, he had spotted them walking towards the trail that leads to the river. It was one of the few places where there was a break in the wall that otherwise surrounded the whole house and gardens.

Mildly annoyed that Tess had taken William so far away, he would be hungry soon, Charlotte increased her pace. She left the manicured lawns and followed the trail, the thick tree canopy overhead instantly turning the bright sunlight into dark shadows.

She caught sight of movement up ahead. Two people, she could hear an argument taking place. Then she saw the baby carriage.

Charlotte started to run, to her disbelief she could see Tess holding William, shielding him from a man who looked as if he was trying to grab William from her, all the while Tess was shrieking the words, “No, I must go too, he knows me, he cannot go alone!”

As Charlotte emerged from the dark trail onto the grassed riverbank, Tess and the man caught sight of her. She yelled at them, “Give me my son! What do you think you are doing?”

The man cursed, as he turned towards her Charlotte knew she had seen him before, but where?

“Tess! Give William to me!” Charlotte’s tone was full of panic and confusion. As she lunged at Tess, the man grabbed her arm, holding her with a vicelike grip.

“Let me go! That is my son! Tess! What is happening?” Charlotte looked over at a distraught Tess, struggling in vain to free herself.

Suddenly, the sound of thundering hoofbeats, a horse and rider stormed into the open. Sidney yanked his horse to a halt but stayed mounted. He quickly appraised the scene.

“Unhand her!” he growled at the man holding Charlotte, “I know what you are about, you will never get the boy while I have breath!”

“I’ll take the lassie then,” the man yelled, tightening his grip on Charlotte’s arms. “Looks like you’d be happy to pay for her instead.”

“Oh no, you will not take anyone,” Sidney held the horse stock still as he slowly and deliberately drew his pistol, levelled it at the man’s head. Charlotte froze, she had never seen such a cold, merciless look on his face.

“Go on then, to shoot me you will shoot her first.” Charlotte gasped as the man roughly pulled her squarely in front of him. She could see Sidney’s mind working, weighing up the odds, the man was right, Charlotte was right in the firing line.

Tess, meanwhile, was still standing to one side, cradling William closely, horrified by the turn of events. She had never envisioned this happening. Her plan all along had been to go to London with William and his kidnapper, acting as a nursemaid for him until the ransom was paid, William would be handed back to his mother and Tess would be free to leave London with some money to start a new life.

Poor Mrs Forster did not deserve this, she had been so good to Tess, and little William, what would happen to him if his mother was badly hurt, or killed? How could Tess atone for playing a part in this despicable plan?

As slowly and unobtrusively as possible, Tess bent down and picked up a large jagged rock, unnoticed, she took aim and hurled it at Charlotte’s captor as forcefully as she could.

The rock hit him hard in the back, he instinctively let go of Charlotte’s arms, as soon as she felt him release her Charlotte pulled away and ran. Sidney’s pistol was still aimed straight at his head, the sound of the gunshot reverberated through the air.

Charlotte stumbled over to Tess, who was standing stock still, in shock. She gently took William from Tess’ arms to see he was sleeping peacefully, blissfully unaware. Sidney dismounted, checked the inert body laying on the grass, and ran the few steps to Charlotte.

“Charlotte! Are you hurt?” Sidney gazed intently at her, then reached for her, wrapping one arm about her shoulders, with the other he pushed back William’s blanket to see his little face.

“No, I am not. Thank God, William is safe,” Charlotte let out a sob. She looked up at Sidney, totally bewildered, “What has just happened?”

In a few short sentences Sidney relayed Howard’s plan. After seeing him again, Sidney recognised Howard’s accomplice as the man who had driven the carriage when Howard had kidnapped Georgiana, and as the man who had been sitting next to he and Babbington in the bar.

The seriousness of the situation, how tragic the outcome may have been if not for Sidney’s intervention, the risk to his own life by stepping in to save William, it all began to sink in for Charlotte. Her eyes filled, she buried her head on his chest and let the tears flow.

“Charlotte, I would never let anything happen to you or to William. I would readily give my life for yours.” Sidney brushed the top of her head with his lips, held them both close.

Sidney, Charlotte and William travelled to London the next day. The Forsters, and the local constabulary, had been informed of the plot to kidnap William. Sidney was absolved of any criminal intent in the death of Howard’s accomplice, Howard himself was arrested and would soon stand trial, never to be thought of again. Tess remained at the great house, Charlotte had spoken of her service in glowing terms, particularly when it came to her valiant effort on the riverbank, she was to remain employed by the Forsters for the time being.

Sidney and Charlotte agreed to tell the Forster family of their intention to marry in the summer, and were sent on their way with none but good wishes for their future. They left the issue of William for another day.

During the ride to London, Sidney told Charlotte of Lady Denham’s death and his subsequent inheritance. They spoke at length of the ramifications for themselves, and for Sanditon. Charlotte was determined that the town would honour Lady D’s legacy for many years.


	20. Chapter 20

On a fine early summer’s day in Willingden, Charlotte Heywood Forster walked down the aisle of the small church on the arm of her proud father. Sidney stood at the altar, as he watched her approach, saw her shy smile, her glistening eyes, he felt his heart would explode into a thousand pieces. He had been yearning for this day for two years, they would never be apart again.

Charlotte had been determined to schedule the ceremony for mid morning, for once putting her own desires ahead of others. Those travelling from elsewhere would just have to arrive the day before. Charlotte wanted an informal lunch to be held under trees near the Heywood house, she, Sidney and William would depart soon after.

They travelled directly to Sanditon, to Sidney’s terrace house, where Sarah, William’s nurse was waiting to take charge of the sleepy little boy, his nursery had been prepared on the top floor. It was evening, Sidney’s maid had left he and Charlotte a light supper in the upstairs sitting room.

“I am ravenous,” Charlotte proclaimed, sitting down at the table and taking a hearty bite out of the bread. “You must be hungry too,” she smiled at Sidney.

“Yes, and very tired and much desiring of my bed, with my wife in it.” He looked at her over the top of his teacup. “Hurry up and eat.”

“What a romantic sentiment, Mr Parker,” Charlotte grinned. “What if I choose to have seconds?”

“Well, then I would have to do this,” Sidney suddenly arose, removed the fork from Charlotte’s hand, reached under her legs and easily hoisted her off the chair and into his arms as she let out a shriek.

“You can have a big breakfast,” Sidney said, carrying her down the hallway into his bedroom and setting her down gently.

“I still can hardly believe that you are mine, that I will wake up in the morning with you by my side,” Sidney cradled her face in his hands, lightly kissed her lips, then left her to undress.

Charlotte slid her nightdress on, sat on the side of the bed to let down her hair. She had been so busy in the weeks leading up to her wedding. Her own sister, Alison, had also married her vicar in the spring, Charlotte had been in Willingden since then, had barely spent any time alone with Sidney at all.

She thought of the words he had just spoken, how they echoed her own feelings. She thought of how much they had both endured to come to this day. From the first weeks of their acquaintance, when each had in turn infuriated the other, to the realisation that motives had been misjudged, that their true feelings could not be denied, to the succession of events that kept them apart.

It was all over now. They would share a future together, whatever life held for them they would live it as one. It all began today.

Sidney emerged from his dressing room, clad in a black velvet robe. Charlotte stared at him, realising she had no idea he would own such a thing, realising she had so much yet to learn about this magnificent man who loved her.

Silently, Charlotte rose, just stood in the candlelight as Sidney approached her. The look in his eyes, the happiness, the love, the lust, made her entire body tingle. Without hesitation he placed a hand around her waist, an arm under her shoulders and tipped her backwards onto the bed. Sidney let his robe drop to the floor, slid beneath the sheets, cradled her warm body to his.

“I love you, Mrs Parker,” he murmured against her cheek. Charlotte closed her eyes, sighed in anticipation as she felt his hands roaming her body, “Let me show you how much…”

Upstairs, baby William stirred and smiled in his sleep, his happy future just beginning.


End file.
